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Author, blogger, copywriter, content writer, family life, coaching, and photographer Diane Knaus

Diane Knaus - Author

Grandmothers are important too!

Grandparents rate high on most families heirarchy of importance.Some of us become frail when we get lots older, but, we can't help that as we age. We do remain alert and are healthier than we have ever been. We are able to stay in our homes longer with some help from our children and grandchildren. Sometimes we even live with you and share our stories of what it really was like when we were children. For the most part our stories are all true. Plus we are here for you at almost anytime, just like always.

A Daily Prayer

Thank you God, for all of the wonderful people in my life, for all of the love in our hearts, for all of the smiles on our faces. Thank you for all of the blessings and abundance in our lives. Thank you for all of the oceans and avalanches of abundance tumbling into our lives in ever increasing amounts day after day. Amen

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What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make. Jane Goodall
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow - Albert Einstein

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kittygirl by diane knaus copyrighted 2016

Sweet Kittygirl one of my adopted family members, loves to snuggle.

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A Grandmothers Blog on Family Life and Coaching

If you are having a problem or there's something you want to talk about, please contact me immediately at dk@momsez.com, or 443-942-0096

Recent Hurricanes Caused Havoc for Pets of All Kinds/911 Flood Ravaged Pets Need Homes Too

9-30-2017 Many pet shelters in the rest of the country are giving pets away free to help get the flood raveged pets homes from Texas, Hurricane Harvey, and now Maria .However, some of the pets in Maryland in kill shelters will begin euthanizing the overcrowded pets that they already have. I know that doesn't seem fair, but that is the way it is in reality. So, if you really want a pet go now to your nearest shelter or rescue organizations and find loving pet to rescue for you and your family. Find a rescue place near you. The following are rescue organizations in Maryland.

https://www.lastchancerescue.org/

https://www.paws.org/

https://www.spca.org/

http://www.thefarm.petfinder.com

http://www.petrescueofmd.org/

Check your local SPCA, Petco, and Petsmart companies. Most of them will be having large pet adoptions on Saturdays and Sundays. No one knows how long this rescue operation will last. Animals can't really talk, but you can look into their eyes and see how scared they are. Consider adopting it can be wonderful for all concerned.

Remember there are still no telephone lines, or electricity on the San Juan Island in Puerto Rico at all. They are still waiting for food and emergency supplies.

Who are you?

8-31-17 That's the famous question that we should ask ourselves every six months. To be your authentic self you need to ask the question! Furthermore you also need to write down the answer. Why should you do this personal work? Because sometimes we forget who we are.

We get lost in all the craziness in daily chores, and what we think is important in our lives, and the news on our television sets. Some of it concerns us and some not so much.

How do you feel about this past election? Are your feelings based on the real facts? Are you doing your own research on real facts or just taking someone else's word as fact filled information and reacting to it? Can you change your mind when you find out the facts? Have you changed your mind when you found out the facts?

It's paramount to be able to say "well maybe I was wrong before"! That is a powerful and bold statement. It's important to realize and to say I've changed my mind on that because I now have checked the facts and found out that I was wrong.

It is important to admit you are wrong. Why is it so important, because that proves you can be a rational and independent person. Those actions make you unique in our world of smart thinkers. How many times do you think Einstein had thoughts that he couldn't prove?

Because he had such a momentous capacity to think about the natural world he changed his mind thousands of times in his lifetime. Einstein's thoughts became his theories. He changed Newton's three laws and transformed physics. His thoughts and theories became a foundation for astrophysics and the atomic bomb.

That is enough proof that you can change your mind and still be okay with your thoughts. So, listen to your innermost thoughts, your dreams, your happiness and that of other people in your life. Take the time to organize your thoughts and let your heart speak for you when you need that.

Don't be afraid of change rather endorse change if it will open doors for you or your company. Do not be afraid to change, it can be the best thing to propel your life forward.

Yes you can talk about it with your family and friends and your staff. Be sure you are in a safe environment where their minds are open as well. Make a commitment to have a safe space where you can talk about needed changes.

Written by Coaching Change Specialist Diane Knaus, Posted in Pulse on linkedin 5-13-2016 linked to Twitter and Facebook. For Coaching Scheduling and additional information email click here, to call 1-443-942-0096 after 9:00 A.M. EST - 5:00 P.M.

May your day be filled with sunshine and love.If not find someone else who needs help and provide that if at all possible.

photo by diane knaus copyrighted

You and your children want a new pet!

You are not anxious to add a new family member,I do understand. Yes a new pet is an addition to your family. Why, because they always become family members. Someone always has to feed them and take them outside. Depending on how old the other family members are one of them should be able to take care of this at least once a day or more.

Do you have pet care experience? It's a good idea to go and take pet care training lessons from places like Petco and Petsmart. It' s good because trainers can show you what to do quickly if something is wrong. The best part of the training is when they teach you what the dog wants and needs and what to do about it. Sometimes you need to take your children so they can also learn the techniques.

Many of the trainers use treats to reward the puppies for doing the right thing when you give a command. And I have to tell you I have seen how well it works. I work part time for a dog food manufacturer as a rep for "Natural Balance". I love it when the training classes are over because I can see how how well pups are doing. That makes me happy, and I like to see happy pups and owners at least for the day, lol.

A happy pet can transform your rough day into a happy event. When your stress levels are high their instincts know it and they pick up on that. Many pets will come over to you for a pat, some will want to sit on your lap. That is a good thing because then you pet them and that alone can ease your stress.

That is one main reason that veterans are paired with rescue dogs. They in particular are especially trained to help that veteran. Do not talk to a rescue dog because doing so can put the veteran at risk of losing their life when the dogs attention is diverted away from them. Do not touch these dogs or try to pet them ever. The veteran is the only person allowed to touch their dog or give them their touch, or feed them.

The training lessons for your pup last for several weeks. It is for your benefit and the pups that you need to have the specific skills on what to do to have a happier life with your pet. You can also have someone come to your home and teach you the needed skill set as well in your own home environment. If you want to do that you can email me here at dk@momsez.com for more local information in the Anne Arundel county area of Maryland.

Depending on the size and weight of your pet you may need training on how to hold them, especially if they are small. Small dogs can be fear-full when held if they don't feel secure. You need to know how to keep them calm when they are afraid, and when to take them to your veterinarian plus what treats not to give them.

Then we can discuss what things you might be afraid of when taking care of them.

Brand new puppies should not be passed around to all your friends because you need time to bond with them on your own first. Remember, it's your puppy and the two of you need some time together to get to know one another, love and trust one another.

If you are a 6'8" tall person and you get a small puppy like a small poodle the pup might be afraid when you first pick it up. That would be a normal fear of the pup being so high off of the floor. You need to think about fears and realities of bringing up a small animal and your stature as well.

If you have a large family there are different techniques to get to know everyone in time. This can be a great time to own a pet who can help you be stess free and to give some love and stability to your pet. The rewards are wonderful and many.

kitty for adoptionkity for adoption 1

"Oh Please Adopt me!" I am a wonderful pet, I do have a companion cat who I have been living with we want a forever home. See:Patuxent Animal Welfare Society,Inc. http://www.mdpawspet.petfinder.org / FB/Patuxent Animal Welfare Society,Inc.

kitties 2

"We really don't like being in cages, much rather to be playing in a happy home." Call 410-326-1616 in Anne Arundel County Annapolis,Maryland

Your Two Year Old Has a Meltdown at a Family Event

6-29-2017 It's okay, really it is okay! All children go through their personal episodes of being overly tired, or feeling sick at one time or another. More often than not, this happens at family events. That is perfectly okay and happens all the time in our lives. If you can't have a meltdown with family when and where can you?

We all get into rushes to be some where on time. It must be before a favorite aunt or uncle has to leave. Been there and done that believe me!

The best thing to remember is to not keep asking your child questions.You cannot reason with a child who is really upset. Don't keep asking them questions they canot even think about. He or she is not in the mood to answer them. In their present state they are not able to think, let alone answer questions and respond as to what's wrong! Patiently let them alone. They can't think at that point. You can't rationalize with them in their state. If they are angry, stop them from doing harm to themselves or others. They can't control themselves at some of these times. Move them to another room in the house, go take a walk with them. Stay with them until they fall asleep, or stop shouting or thrashing about.

Do Not Scream at Them

Do not scream at them. They are already upset, don't make it worse by screaming at them. Do not let other people scream at them because that will only make the situation much worse. If it becomes Dads angry voice that can be a catastrophe. Why you ask, because many times Dad screams louder and that alone can be a scary thing as well. Once they calm down, see if they will let you hold them. If they will, that can calm them enough to fall asleep. Sleep is your friend and theirs.

There are times when a good swat on the behind will get their attention. Of course it will hurt their feelings and they'l cry more for a few minutes. But basically that action can bring things to a safe end.

I am not talking about a spanking here. No spanking at this point. Only use a spanking when nothing else will work. When you have told them not to do something and they go and do it anyhow, that's when a few swats are needed. Standing a child in the corner can also work to get their attention. But, do not do that if they are still sobbing, because they still can't think at that point.

Tips:

1 No slapping them across the face

2 No torturing them with fear of anything

3 No twisting arms

4 No slapping them with any objects like a belt, whip, etc

5 No burning them with anything

6 No throwing things at them

7 No holding pillows or blankets over them or their faces

8 No dunking them in water or a pool

9 No threatening to do bodily harm to them either

There are times when parents need a time out as well as their children. Do not feel bad if you need a time out. Be sure when you take your time, another responsible adult is available to care for your children safely.

There will be times in your life and your children's when you go into overload mode. It is perfectly normal to feel like that.

Tips to Calm Down:

1 Go somewhere you can just sit and be quiet, can be by a home pool, a park bench, the library, your front or back porch, or garden.

2 Turn your radio on, find some music that will calm you.

3 Listen to a meditation music CD

4 Take time to read a few chapters of a good book.

5 Finally, listen to a meditation tape you haven't heard yet.

6 Take care of yourself, go sit in the sunshine, take deep breaths, calm yourself, because tomorrow is another day. But, you must take care of yourself and your children today.

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Are Parents Always Right? In a Word "No"

5-6-2017 Our little boys have hearts too, and Dad is always right! One of the major beliefs today that is incorrect, is that "little boys always have to be tough". Tha its one of the reason's why we have so many young men in prison today. And, the fact that fathers' are not always right. Neither are mothers always right either. Yes we all try to be the best of parent's, but, we don't always get it 100% right. And you know what, sometimes that is ok. I would not want to have to be right for the whole world, that would be entirely too much resposibility for one person.

In fact, "many of us carry inside unresolved anger because of our parents inequalities ".

Some parents don't know how to Express:

. their own anger

. feelings of frustration

. their feelings of unconditional love

. love for everyone in the family

. self love and saying it's ok to not be perfect

. love of family and it's ok to not be perfect

How do you express yourself?

Do you express yourself just like your parents did?

How do you feel when you do that?

Do you deal with your anger the same way they did?

What do you want to change about your feelings, your actions?

Have you forgiven your family members for not knowing how to act?

Have you forgiven yourself for not being perfect?

We all need to realize that when we were younger life was different. There were things that none of us knew about in solving our problems. And, our parents didn't know everything that they know now. They are older and wiser today.

Our little boys need to be able to cry when they're upset. They need to feel love even when they have made mistakes. Why, because we all make mistakes. Hold them, just like you would your little girls, like anyone else. To cuddle is a wonderful feeling for all.

Everyone's heart is tender. It's ok to be able to feel tenderness. Its a part of life that is good. Tenderness shows that you care about someone other than yourself. It does not make sense to with hold love from anyones heart unless they are violent against you or a family member. Someone who is violent in your family needs professional help. Make sure they get that help, or the rest of the family might pay for that as victims of that violent behavior.

Questions:

Have you ever felt in fear of your life? Did you express that to another family member? What was their reaction to your feelings? What did you do about your feelings or anger? What was the result of that specific situation? Have you forgiven the persons involved yet? Do you think you can ever forgive them? Have you forgiven yourself for being in that situation? There are sometimes when you can't get out of stuations because of your age, or size, and it wasn't your fault at all. Learning to forgive yourself is a major success in healing from old hurts.

There are options to how you feel from past happenings. You can feel glad they are over, be glad you are not there anymore. Old anger sometimes shows up as now aggression in todays events. You can better control yourself now than you could when you were younger. Try to let the past stay in the past, but remember what started out okay went bad. Then figure out what happened if you can. Sometimes others can be helpful to explain what you were too young to remember at that time.

We need to be able to forgive to have a better family life now. We need to not make the same mistakes our parents made. We need to be nicer too our partners, our children so they can be happy and we can enjoy their happiness. We should enjoy our pets and love their attention to enjoy their love too. Life can sometimes be too short. Show your love and attention especially to your children.

Darlin my dog

Your little boys need just as much love as our girls do. The girls grow up a little tougher because of all the attention men give them either wanted or not. Boys get told to toughen up and don't dare cry. That is wrong guys, just saying do not treat your boys in this manner. Girls learn different than boys, but, the boys don't need to hear words like "sissy". They don't need to be thrown into the water and shouted at to "swim" when they don't know how. Shouting those kind of words create fear and loathing in young children. The children who experience that may never like to swim, or ever want to learn.

Life can be great, and happy. You must take it upon yourself to make lives better for yourself, partner, children and pets. Each partner in any relationship has a self duty to make the union a happy and fullfilling one for themselves. Including their partners and childrens needs of paramount importance as well. Don't ever sell them short!

Remember, I am responsible for my actions and those actions with other people. I am not responsible for anyone else's actions, only my own. I can make myself happy or sad whatever I choose to do. I also am responsible for my young children's happiness, to show them how to be happy with themselves and others. I am responsible to make an honest effort to make any patnership a good one where we both are happy with each other and to make changes when we are not. It doesn't hurt to bring home a nice surprise once in a while either.

Family Maturity in our Compromises of Keeping it All Together When We Disagree on Politics

4-13-17 Everyone has a good reason for liking or hating Trump. The real facts of having a family whose thoughts divide them on their support of Trump can create terrible scenes. It is up to us as a family to not say things in haste or hate toward one another.

It is especially up to us as parents to be flexible in our attitudes by sometimes saying " You don't have to agree with me on this 100%. Neither do I have to agree with your thoughts, and "that is okay". But yet, I want to think we can discuss this and talk about it without being enemies.

I do understand you need to feel like Trump at least started out with good intentions. I would like to think that myself. It looks like he has changed his mind on lots of things as well. And we all need to remember that the Republican people already there control much of what has to get done by voting. It's not like he has to do all the work in the White House. The members of congress are the ones responsible for all our laws. The president just signs them into law, if he agrees with them. And that agreement means many things to many people. The main reason Republicans are making the laws is because they are the majority members of the leading party. If people had voted Democrat it would be a different story. Democrats are a progressive party, and republicans a repressive party to put it simply..

Last week he gave his military top advisors the go ahead to bomb Syrian airfields. He said because they had bombed their own women, and children with nerve gas was his reason for doing so. But, that doesn't ring true for him. We have consistantly seen, not heard but seen with our own eyes how he treats his own wife. He doesn't treat her with love or respect, even in public. The next day Syrian jets took off again and bombed other civilian areas in their city. We still don't know for sure who did the bombings at this point and we may never know to be honest if it was a Syrian Jet, or a Russian jet. Thats his job to make the decision. Right or wrong the last word is his decision. He has top generals to help him make those decisions hopefully considering their suggestions on what will and will not work. Our country is the top free country, and the richest so to speak in the entire world.

Americans did not get where we are today without help from someone. Whether help came from a relative, or an exceptional mother who kept it all together when the family fell apart. Someone came by and made your life better. Someone helped your family when the chips were down. Were they from another country? Were they a neighbor, was it a friend from your school who helped your family in crisis? Americans come from all walks of life and different countries as well.

Albert Einstein received honorary doctorate degrees: for science, medicine and philosophy from many European and American universities. He was born in Ulm Germany, yet lived out his most productive years here in America. He was a German American who contributed many things to America and the entire world. Not all Germans were or are all bad.

Many men here in US are afraid of what will happen if too many Syrians come into our country. Their worries are valid because when we had our biggest influx of Mexicans they did many of the jobs that others could not do. They also did the jobs cheaper which meant competition was higher. Many men lost their jobs because the Mexicans did the work cheaper. Now we have Jamaicans coming and they can do the jobs better than the Mexicans because their work ethics are better on a regular basis.

So refugees worry most men in the construction business'. When a man loves a woman they do not want them to come to harm in any way. One of the problems our men worry about is the Sharia law. Worry, because they do not understand the true meaning of the words. According to the American Muslim scholar Imam Suhaib Webb: There are five main things that Sharia law aims to preserve. Life, learning, family, property, and honor are important. These main goals are laws about: Living in a marriage, eating, worship, financial transactions, and other essential aspects of living in a community.

Many areas of America are becoming compressed, not much room for many more people to live in some cities. Traffic is a nightmare on any day. Rents are high, and can take up as much as half your paycheck or even more. Hence where are we going to put all these extra people in our cities. Food costs are high and medicines are even higher for any of us to live with. What would taking in more people mean for all. Our resources stretched to the limit right now. Yes these are valuable facts and must considered. But these are some of the major things we should all think about.

Our senior citizens now have to wait years to find affordable housing in most cities. That is something we have to fix right now, not have to wait for something else to happen.

Then when you think about having a city become a sanctuary city, that translates into a city who will take care of immigrants needs. That becomes a whole new way of living for all. Families will take in immigrants, and help transition them into being productive members of our society. We don't know yet who will foot the bill for this, but someone surely will have to do that.

We all Need Maturity Especially in Our Politics

Democrats of the Senate Showdown at the Capital, Deprives Gorsuch of Nomination NOT

4-6-2017 In a historic move of power against Republican abstinence and unfairness our Democrats raised their hands higher. Finally someone decided to stand up and be counted against the blatant moves of injustice of republican power mongering!

The US has stood honorably with their citizens to bolster equality and fairness in everything for years. But, since President Obama took office anything he wanted to do was blocked for 8 years straight by power hungry republicans who wanted everything their way. Republicans animosity against President Obama was blatant racial profiling in public. Politicians are supposed to make laws to make our country greater not raise race relations to a new low by being so crude and cowardly as to not do their jobs because of it. Republicans also refused to even give the presidents choice of a new member for our Supreme Court a fair hearing Merrick Garland. Remember, all is not fair in love and war and politics, ever.

And we Americans elected Donald Trump. What a disaster that has been. Sometimes when new leadership comes into a country it is good when major things are changed. However, having said that this time it is not true. Yes there are things that still need to be changed in America. Just not in the manner Donald Trump and republicans are going about it. Everything has been done haphazard to put it mildly. Even Trumps wild behavior has been challenged and will be until the Russian probe is concluded. That may well put him in jail, we can then say "Lock Him Up, instead of referring to Hillary".

At some point we may get Donald Trump out of the White House for misconduct. That's going to take time, my concern is how much damage will he do to our entire political system before we can get him out!. Personally I dislike him because of the manner of getting things done; his mistreatment of women,and his throwing away of real facts when he lies. If you have any common sense, you cannot continually accept his lies without saying he is a fraud on the American public and unfit for office.

Right now we are hours away from a real war like conflict with China's leader because he is also unstable. I don't know about you, but I only live an hour away from D.C. and that's not far enough if China decides to throw bombs at us. The reality of that may not be accurate because of the distance from China, but, if they project any missles at us they will do damage for real.

The massive changes that republicans want to make with Medicare alone and our insurance laws are absolutely a tearing apart of our healthcare fabric. Their solutions would have us lose about 24 million people out of having any healthcare at all. And costs would skyrocket out of control so we couldn't pay the bills if we had to. They have had 8 years to fix this, but have done nothing except go on continual vacations and just not work for us period. Yet they want a raise. They should have the same insurance as we do, period.

Don't forget just how long they work each year either. $175k a year for those 110 working days this year. Don't you want a job like that where you can make a difference in our lives for the better of the entire country? That my friends is what we need to do. Go register for the next election cycle. Do it now and get your people excited now for the future. Start planning what you want to accomplish now for the future and start working on it. You will be surprised at what you can actually get done.

You are the change we need, work for the good of the entire country within your industry. Convince your leaders to "Do the Right Thing by all of us". And lets not forget that our children and grandchilren are watching all of this as well as we are. They will question us for many years because of our shortness of insight into our choices for president this time.

There is a real possibility that Republicans will short change this election again because they want to change the Senate rules to allow an expected rules change later today by Republicans – the so-called 'nuclear option' – that would eliminate filibusters for Supreme Court nominees and allow Gorsuch to be confirmed on Friday with a simple majority of 51 votes.

Update 4-13-2017

That indeed is what happened. My prayer and it's a real prayer, is that he uses his own maturity to think hard about the cases that come before the court. I want him to use his maturity and his sense of fair play in his final judgements on all cases before them on this most high court of our country. None of us can ask any more of him, but to use his choices judiciously, with caution to do no harm to anyone in his final votes.

Teen Maturing and Dating Issues from the CDC Tips for Parents, Teens

2-27-2017 Should we parents really be worried about the people they are dating becoming violent or abusive? CDC says emphatically yes we should be worried. According to CDC, in a recent national survey, did you know 1 in 10 teens reported being hit or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend at least once in the 12 months before the survey? Additionally, during the 12 months before the survey,1 in 10 teens reported they had been kissed, touched, or physically forced to have sexual intercourse when they did not want to at least once by someone they were dating.

My own chilldren as they grew were fortunate enough to know all of the kids in our neighborhood. I knew most of their parents a well. Nowadays, with all of the cars and busses, transportation, their friends can be from anywhere. It is imperative that you get to know who their friends are. When we are all young we sometimes do things we should not do and then regret it later. But, that is just where you don't want your daughters face to be, at the business end of a hard slap, or worse sexually assaullted. And that goes for the boys as well. Little girls grow up to be sexally aware and are just as curious as the boys are. We must all realize that fact, and be aware now.

As a Parent You Can

Talk to your teens about the importance of developing healthy, respectful relationships.

You need to remember that unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. Teens often think some behaviors, like teasing and name calling, are a "normal" part of a relationship. However, these behaviors can become abusive and develop into more serious forms of violence. That is why adults need to talk to teens now about the importance of developing healthy, respectful relationships.

Dating violence can have a negative effect on health throughout your lifetime. Victims of teen dating violence are more likely to experience symptoms of depression and anxiety. They might also engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as using tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. Teens who are victims in high school are at higher risk for victimization during college and in adult relationships. Teach your children to become more physical to be able to defend themselves. Your girls and young boys need to know it's ok to hit someone else who is abusing them.

Get a group of these young kids together and show some karate videos, get them to experience some of the moves. They just need to be aware of what they can do to protect themselves.

What CDC Is Doing

CDC's Division of Violence Prevention is leading the initiative, Dating Matters®: Strategies to Promote Healthy Teen Relationships. Dating Matters is a comprehensive teen dating violence prevention model that builds upon current evidence-based practice and experience to promote respectful, nonviolent dating relationships among youth. Dating Matters includes multiple prevention activities that work together to reduce the burden of teen dating violence for individuals, schools, families, and in neighborhoods. The Dating Matters Capacity Assessment and Planning Tool (DM-CAPT) is an online system that helps local health departments and their school and community partners assess and monitor their capacity for implementing a comprehensive teen dating violence initiative. Dating Matters also provides an online training for educators and other youth-serving professionals who are interested in learning more about preventing teen dating violence.

Dating Matters was implemented in middle schools and neighborhoods across Chicago, Illinois; Baltimore, Maryland; Ft. Lauderdale, Florida; and Oakland, California as part of an ongoing CDC demonstration project. For more information about each of these communities, view the Dating Matters grantee profiles. Dating Matters is expected to be available to other communities interested in preventing teen dating violence by early 2018.

See More at CDC website

my darlin photo by dianeknaus copyrighted 2017

Photo by Diane Knaus copyrighted 2017

Your pets can help relieve your stress! For Real

2-15-2017 It's is true, your pets can help to relieve your stress. They can also pinpont where there is sickness. Lets say you have had a tough couple of weeks at work. When you have opened the door to your house your pet has come to greet you. Then, they stay by your side for more than an hour, but you're upset, so you shoe them away. But, again they come to you when you sit down.

Your stress gets a little higher when you do that. Then when you finally relent, your pooch is on your lap and you seem to feel a little more comfortable. She nuzzles into your chest much against your pushing her away. She keeps close to you and you relent again. Now, just sit there with your pet on your lap and leaning into you. Slowly and mindfully take many deep breaths. Stroke your pet, they deserve it because they have just effectively calmed you down without you even realizing it. So give her a big hug, gently pat here head and hold her close to you.

Medical science has proven that stroking a pet lowers heart rate and blood pressure. Our pets can be our best indicators of our health. Their instincts come alive when you throw down that briefcase on the floor instead of the chair by the door. When she goes around in circles, she needs to go out and taking her for a walk is one of the best things you can do for her and for yourself.

Why you ask is that so? She has been lying down in the house all day long while you have been sitting in a chair at your place of work. Both of you need to breathe in some fresh air and to stretch your legs. You do not need to run unless you feel a need to. As long as you are moving your legs and your body it's ok. Every walk needn't be a workout. No one has to do a run every time you go out you know. You do not have to walk a mile each time, or two miles, just enough where you feel better is ok. You still have to walk back home, so maybe don't push it too much.

You are not in the mood for a walk. Okay, then don't, but the minute you decide not to is the moment when she becomes more insistent. PS, she's right! Go take a walk in the sunshine if you can, or the rain even if it's just around the sides of your house so she can do what she has to do.

You and your pet have a bond of trust, don't break that trust by not taking her out when she needs to go. You have made a pledge to her to take care of her and it is your duty to do that. Pets can bring together a broken family if there has been a recent tragedy or major health issues worrying everyone. Remember your pet is a part of the family too, don't leave them out when grieving because they also grieve just like you and just like I do.

All that exercise keeps your bodies healthy and attentive because we all need a certain amount of it! To remain attentive and alert is a main concern that the two of you together can do. That is exactly what you need to stay alert together. This helps you to stay alert and her to be alert to your heartbeats and body functions.

Have you had any leg cramps, or strains? Most likely she has gently laid her body up against you in or near those spots. Think about that for a few minutes. Did you know that the tactile contact of petting a dog or cat can de-stress a human as well as a tranquilizer and with no harmful side effects?

Dogs are recognized for their abilities to sniff out cancer in a humans body. They can do this long before medical science even detects the malignant cells. Dogs have probably done so for centuries until man evolved enough to notice.

Watch dogs have protected men and women in battle and policework. Attentive dogs and cats have warned troops of other people milling about, and even when fires have started in a home. Some dogs even have tornado sense and know when they are coming.

Some have warned parents when a person was abusing their children by hissing or growling at the abuser. They are alert to strangers who would harm your children by using their trust alarm, it's true unfortunately.

Your pet is a loyal, adoring companion, so spend a little time just petting and talking to him/her. It’s good for the heart, the mind, and the soul!

Dogs love us unconditionally whether we want them to or not sometimes. No other being comes close to this except some special loving cats. More on that later. Hug your pets today, make a plan to love them more, treat them more. Always trust your pets instincts. They truly deserve it. and so do you.

If you or someone you know wants or needs life coaching, email me here for additional information

5 Rules to Bringing up Emotionally Healthy Kids

Who is the authority figure in your home, and what is their working day job? Yes, it does make a difference.

Is your husband the one, is he in a service, or a policeman, lawyer, wrestler, boxer or strict Ministry professional? Yes we all get testy sometimes that is for sure, and we take thngs out on our children that we don't think about sometimes. The service person may treat his children like little recruits who don't have a brain. The police man might treat his children like a prisoner who doesn't know the rules, he may shout at them like he does in the streets. A lawyer may treat his children like they are on a trial stand and ask questions for forfever. A wrestler may throw his children around the house beleiving they are having fun all the time, but they have fear of this. Boxers may try teaching little ones how to box at too much of an early age. A strict minister may continually ask questions about the Bible that the child knows nothing about, or shout at them for abuses that they never even thought or know anything about.

Saying I love you

How that authority is used in expression is extremely crucial in how your children will turn out. When a person is too strict and forgets to say I love you, a child may become cold and not able to reach out to others when they need comfort.

1. If a child is always shouted at and told "Don't do that you stupid little idiot" they will definitely grow up with a bad self image. They probably won't try to learn much in school because at home someone is always calling them an idiot. Then you say to me "oh he doesn't mean that when he yells at them". Excuse me, but he does mean that if he has shouted that at your children more than five times. It could be that is the way he was spoken to when he was a child. As parents we tend to treat our children the way our spouses let us treat our babies. I am using the male voice here because it is mostly the men who will verbalize this type of treatment toward their children! But this is not always a father who will do this, sometimes it is the mother because she was not treated with love or shown much love in her home.

The Real Lesson

The real lesson here is to be present how you and your spouse treat your children as a parent. And how you treat each other with respect and love is vitally important. If you find that you are acting like your parents did, make a point to stop that behavior. Because when you remember the damage it did to you as a child it hurt your feelings. Now you are doing that to your own children and that is not pretty and you know that! This is when you know habits need to change.

Christmas and New Years

2. During holiday times between Christmas and New Years even grown ups lose it and exhibit bad behaviors on a regular basis. No doubt someone in your family either lost their temper and said unkind words at one time or another. Maybe they just plain drank or drugged too much and made an ass out of themselves. But their behavior hurt you in some manner. Do you remember any instances like that? Were they painful then? Well, they are even more painful now because you could be seeing it all over again happening to your own children.

The lesson here is to not make the same mistakes your own parents made with you when you were a young child. Then you need to remember your own childhood.

3. We all have uncles and aunts who don't use their best judgement and manners that you want them to show around your children. Since we have had our latest political election you have no doubt heard awful words come out of family members mouths. Of course many of those things were not true, and you knew that. Did you have a discussion about telling the truth at the time? Was the discussion about being sure you knew the truth? Were words from trusted resources or shock jockeys like cigar eating Rush Limbaugh, or Howard Stern? Then of course we had the bashing of Hillary Clinton by the republicans for thirty years come to a head as well.

The tip here is to get validated and trustworthy information from reliable resources. Then relay that to children in a language that is appropriate for their age.

We need to remember about dangerous things like guns

4. We need to remember to not just take anyones word for things that are supposed to be true. You need to corroborate stories. As a parent you need to get at the truth, because sometimes your child can be easily led. Young children can be persuaded into doing things that could harm them or someone else. Because of their ages they have no clue how dangerous things can get. Such as guns, should always be out of sight without bullets in them and in a locked container. Just recently this year a woman who is a guns rights activist had a loaded gun in her car while her son was in the backseat, she was driving. He was not buckled into a car seat, but somehow got a hold of the gun and shot her in the back. Of course he was a child under five years old and had no clue what he was doing, but, the gun was available. He picked it up and shot mommy. She lived to tell the tale. See:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3484064/Pro-gun-poster-girl-shot-four-year-old-son-driving-Florida-boy-pistol-seat-truck.html.

The tip here always keep dangerous items locked up and out of sight of any underage child. Do not tell teenagers where guns are hidden unless you are in a dangerous situation at the time. You might think their brains are mature, but in reality they are not able to make mature good choices in their teen years.

Our brains functions

5. Our brains function differently between women and men. Men mature much later than women. Dr. Sarah-Jayne Blakemore and colleagues from the Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience at the University College London explains: human brain continues to develop longer into the teenage years and adulthood than previously believed. The researchers said the results indicate the brains of teenagers are working less efficiently than adults’ brains. Dr. Blakemore continues, the part of the brain needed to solve the problem is still developing in the adolescents. While the activity in the prefrontal cortex indicates they are doing a lot of needless work with "chaotic thought patterns. There is simply too much going on in the brains of adolescents for them to concentrate on the task at hand." That means resources and energy in the brain are wasted, which has a negative effect on decision-making.

What makes us human

Prof. Blakemore said the pre-frontal cortex "is the part of the brain that makes us human." There is a strong link between this area of the brain and a person’s personality. She added that brain scans show the pre-frontal cortex continues to change shape as people reach their 30s and up to their late 40s. Continuing, she added the region begins to change in early childhood and then is re-organized in late adolescence but continues to change after that. Our ages of full maturity change for women at about the age of 30 and 43 for our men. But, that does not mean we stop learning or growing at all.

The biggest tip is that we always learn and grow from reading and being active, doing and not stopping our individual curiosities. We must always engage and encourage ourselves to continue to be active everyday and in every way. Of most importance is to laugh as much as you can with each other, hold hands, stroke one anothers hair, brush a cheek with a kiss, give a hug when someone least expects it just because you can and want to. Sometimes you can also say I really need or want a hug will you give me one sweety?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2016

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year2016 My curiosity in life sometimes takes me away from the daily routine that is most productive. However, it usually is rewarding to my creative nature. Someday, it will bring me monetary rewards, but it does enhance my joy of life.

The other day,I looked up the names of famous women writers just to satisfy my curiosity.

One big surprise is that a woman wrote Frankenstein:

I was surprised to see that on the list of top five a woman wrote Frankenstein, her name is Mary Shelley, she also wrote Falkner.

Here is the top five:

1. Jane Austin wrote Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Mansfield Park.

2. Charlotte Bronte for Jayne Eyre, and Emma

3. Agatha Christie for A Witness for the Prosecution, And Then There Were None

4. Louisa May Alcott for Jo's Boys, Little Women and Little Men

5. Mary Shelley for Frankenstein, This is the only one I have read as yet, and it was really interesting.

There are many others on the list that I'll probably never get to, but that's not in concrete. I've always felt a little bit bad about myself because I couldn't go to college when I should have. And I know that there are many others who feel the same way. But it's ok because it isn't everyones path to success. Yes, I'll probably read the rest of these five within the next year that's my resolution. Because I want to do that just to get to know the writers and what they have said. There are millions of books out there that others have read and I probably could spend the rest of my life reading and it wouldn't even make a dent as to how many are in libraries.

Why is this so important? It's only important to me because I want to know more about the rest of the world to expand mine. It's something that many others have done, therefore if I want to make more friends I need to know more and to have something interesting to others to talk about they can relate to. Yes, there are many other things I can also learn and I will at some point get started on, because life continues everyday. We get good things when we show positive thoughts with no screaming and volatile activities of a fourteen year old, losing our tempers, or being outrageous by using outside voice levels rather inside ones.

Sometimes I watch science TV, history, lives of the ancient gods who supposedly came from outer space, and our environment. I can see you rolling your eyes now. But it's all interesting and I hope I never lose my sense of wonderment about our planet and our lives. And I wish you the same, to not lose hope about anything and keep a sense of wonderment in your life, and always believe in your equality, your personal values, and the quality of others in your life. It's all important because it all adds up to who you are and who you will become one day! But you must practice these qualities everyday. Always remember I love you unquestionably and forever!

Family Holiday Communications are Important but Facebook is not an Effective Substitute

12-23-2016 There is no effective substitute for family communications for in person. To be right here, right now to have exchanges of love and affection is the ultimate expression of I love you. The days of riding in a sleigh to grandmothers house are long gone. But, that does not mean that being there in person is any the less important.

In fact it is more important than ever that we communicate and I don't mean on Facebook. I mean the good, old fashion telephone call. Nothing substitutes for it, especially on major holidays, birthdays, not even a tweet, or text. Maybe a family video would work in some situations. Something that says I do miss you in person is much better than anything else.

Distractions

Oh yes, we have many distractions in our new cyber world. Your TV broadcasts anything you might want. Whether it is shenanigans over the last election, info on ISIS terrorists, it's broadcast. Coverage of toy runs in your neighborhood, daily updates about congress, it's all seen on your TV.

Many families today are in different states and sometimes for work. All the more important to let grandparents know when you are in town, and to make a point of seeing them, or at the very least calling them. Because nothing is so important that you can't call them to let them know that you love them. That's a basic rule of respectful family communications.

Who Backs You Up

Why is that so? Well for one they are usually the ones who will back you up when you are in a jam. They are usually the people who take your side, or not if you are on the wrong side of good communication skills. Grandparents are the people who have saved your beans more than once when you needed it. We are usually here when you need someone to talk to. We know what it is to listen and we keep our mouth shut when need to let you think about things. When you need life answers, we usually have them and give when needed.

Grandchildren need to remember that we have feelings too.

Remember that we have needs and expenses just like yours. Our lives have ups and downs just like you do and when we are older it's harder sometimes on us than it is with you. Yes, I know we all have choices and sometimes those get a little harder, but we all have them. Choices are a fact of life for all people. Because we are all human we don't always make the best ones. We need to think harder about those choices and that can take longer.

Familes Change

The make up of families have certainly changed over the decades. With more women having job needs than ever before it can be hard to find a living wage job depending on your skill set. Companies definitely need to be willing to train more people who do have the aptitude to fill their positions.

Grandmothers take on family responsibilities when they have to. The living wage rule should be required to be a mandate for any position that is forty hours.

It's Not Grandmothers Place to Help Care for Grandchildren But We Do it

When grandmother takes on family responsibilities to help care for grandchildren, it is because a young woman in the family is going to college. She needs the financial help. When a woman works outside of the home they do so usually because of money needs. Or because it is she who has to meet the financial requirements to take care of the family.

Each time a young woman advances to a college degree it is deeply important to get her into a good paying job. And most women are up to that because they are smarter than most people give them credit for. When a company hires a college graduate they need to be wiling to invest in training for all people, not just the young men.

College for Our Young Women?

Take a look at the following job information! In a recent report on http://www.catalyst.org/:

Companies With More Women Board Directors Experience Higher Financial Performance, According to Latest Catalyst Bottom Line Report.

Fortune 500 Companies

Fortune 500 companies, with the highest representation of women board directors, attained much higher financial performances. And on average, more than those with the lowest representation of women board directors. According to Catalyst’s most recent report, The Bottom Line: Corporate Performance and Women’s Representation on Boards. The report also points out on average: stronger-than-average performance at companies with three or more women board directors.

If you have contact with people in your HR department maybe you could have a discussion on hiring more young women to do the work. Or discuss the pay schedules and norms in your company to get the best from your workers. There might be young and older women who have the greatest abilities to do the job better than who you have in the positions now. It's way past time to give rewards to your best employees no matter who they are or how old they are! Guess What you can tell Grandma Now! Just don't tell her via Facebook, do it in person, or call her now!Merry Christmas 2016.

A Look Back at this Year 2016

12-17-2016 I have to say it has been a strange year for many of us. Changing jobs, living arrangements and goals. Thank goodness there are cell phones and older people like parents, grandparents, and chosen family members to help when needed. It does not matter whether the help is for a car, advice, or emotional support it is still there and freely given. Many people do not have that kind of emotional support.

Independence is about many things like making your own decisions and having the right to make a mistake. We all have made them and some of us more than others, but the important thing is to remember that we learn from those mistakes and not repeat them. Helping each other for those of us who do have brothers and sisters or a family of choice to accomplish those goals whether it is learning a new skill like painting, or laying tile can be extremely important. But so is laughing at yourself, as we all make mistakes, we need to not take ourselves too seriously and remember that there are some things that can be funny, if you let them.

Life is not a game like one upmanship, our families all have each other and some of us partners who you have decided to spend the majority of your lives with. So you do not have to compete with each other for anything, nor do your partners.

Life is about sharing your love with each other and family and friends, and helping others when you can, or just because you want to. Hopefully you won’t get wrapped up in what each other has or doesn’t have because love can overcome that, but only if you let it. You can be sensible enough to be compassionate with each other even when it is hard to do, But, never let go of that compassion and never let it go no matter what. Compassion and love are what makes the world go around and makes a difference in peoples lives. Enjoy your lives and the emotional support you have this Christmas, but do not forget others who are not as fortunate as you are. Even if it is only $10.00 or $20.00 donate to a local food bank, or shelter the things you cannot use anymore, like clothes, old tvs or help a friend in need.Why? Because we are all human beings with feelings, wants and needs to be tretred like a human being. When I hold your hand I have warmth in mine I want to transfer that warmth of friendship into your hsand and body. That is why we shake hands with so many people in the first place. Take my hand in yours you are my friend today and every day!You are my family everday!

This is the Spirit of Christmas love, compassion,and giving to others while respecting yourself in what you do on a regular basis. May the Spirit of Christmas engulf you, your heart, your life, your friends, families and your compassion for each other and the family of humanity. Hug each other lots.

Seven Tips to Keeping our Daughters Safe During the Holidays

Keeping our daughters safe begins early and at home. As a parent one of our worst nightmares is if your daughter calls home and says I've been sexually assaulted. That is the ultimate horror story.

Your beautiful little girl all grown up,becomes an adult and able to make her own decisions is in the real adult world. If she is living on campus and in a sorority house in particular that makes her 3 times more likely to have that bad experience.

Freshman and sophomores are more likely as well to be sexually assaulted and taken advantage of.

1. The real info should not be the targeting of telling a young girl how to behave, what to wear or what sport to take up.

2. Young men should be targets of education on how to act because they are the perps. They are responsible for their actions and only for themselves individually.

3. Yes, I do understand young mens needs. But they are responsible for their behaviors. Dads are the real men who need to tell their sons how to behave, and how to take care of themselves. If Dad is not there then Mom is it, that can be hard, but many times necessary.

4. Young men need to be taught how to talk to a young lady that they are interested in.

5. Teaching young men etiquette is not out of fashion, ever. It's called civility and respecting each other by all people.

6. Teaching young people how to love and respect each otherand family is as important as anything else in their lives.

7. As the major adult in the family our men must instill a willingness to teach your children to keep them and others safe that they care about.

If there is no man there, then Mom or maybe a granddad could be the teacher. When Mom has the responsibility to make the decision of family structure it could be done by chosen family. members. This is a hard choice to make, but it must be done to keep our boys out of jail, and from becoming another statistic in the jails of our cities. We must all strive to teach your boys to be loving young men. If you are a reader, find good literature that shows a young man respecting his family and share that story.

Current List From Barnes and Noble:

For Boys:

The Novice, by Taran Matharu

Gone, by Michael Grant

Legend, by Marie Lu

For Girls:

Undertow, by Michael Buckley

A Court of Thorns and Roses, by Sarah J. Maas

Pick Your Own Family

12-1-2016 We have many reasons to pick our own families as we get a little older. Take me for example, an only child and my mother died when I was twelve just as I was going into Junior high school. There were some fun cousins, and a few aunts and uncles, but none that I could conveniently connect with who lived nearby.

What made matters a little worse was that was also the year that we began integrated schools for the first time in Baltimore city. All of us were a little scared not knowing what to expect from each other. There was talk of fights and people being smart asses. Fortunately, for all there wasn't too much of that that went on during that year. But most of us who did know each other stayed close in our own groups and let few other in with us.There were only a few real fights that broke out. We were all lucky and thankful about that. Very few girls got pregnant, and those who did some were sent to live with another relative somewhere. Some families sent the unwed mothers out of the area to have the babies and then to adopt them out. That is the way things were in my youth.

Drifting

As I grew and matured lots of my friends drift away. Drifting to new girlfriends, boyfriends, marriage and baby carriages is a path most choose. We sometimes lose count of the boyfriends, girlfriends and where they wind up. Then there is how much we miss some of them. You know those special ones who always remain in our hearts stay with us for ages. It's best to remember the good things about them because it can bring comfort at times. But you still have to be you, sometimes okay, sometimes not because that is how life is once in a while.

It's okay to know when you are upset. Then you know that you need your friends, or close relatives. They can make your world better, but sometimes worse. The important thing is that you know the difference. Because knowing that, you will know who to turn to when you need a good friend.

Only Children

So if you are like me an only child and find it hard to make friends life can get lonely. The real trick is to get yourself out and about. Connect with new people. Maybe even go back to church to get those familiar feelings back. My church was Catholic.

In the long run I think my grandmother was the most influencial person in my life after my mother passed away. I rebelled at age 10 by telling my grandmother that "I don't want to go back to church." I was a good kid, and I could not for the life of me figure out why I had to go to confession every week! What was I supposed to tell the priest in that dark dank confessional booth with the dumb screen between us?

Be a Good Kid

Being a good kid didn't help me in the confessional booth. "Father I have sinned but I don't know what to tell you I sinned at?" Why I couldn't even see his face, nor he mine. But I did wrestle with those thoughts for a year or so after that because of how much guilt they put upon us kids on a regular basis. Later that year I turned ten years old. I begged my mother to take me out of Catholic school and she relented.

I was so happy because I became a free kid. No more oppression or made to feel bad for nothing. It's hard to contain a ten year old in the first place but an active only child, give me a break.

Getting Older

As I got older it became a little harder to make new friends, especially after my mother died. My dad fell out of step with life becoming increasing lonely himself and started drinking for about a year. After a few incidents he did meet someone and started keeping company with her. I was not at all impressed. We moved to Anne Arundel County in Maryland the year before I was to graduate from high school. Kids in the new school were very snobby, and were not interested in a new kid at the inn so to speak. There were no kids in the new neighborhood to get to know. So my last year in high school was dreadful.

The importance of getting to know more people became paramount to my self identity and success in life. My summer was dull as Dad didn't want me to work. I was given a used car for my graduation a 1952 Ford Convertible. Now that perked up my summer. My activities included going to a nearby roller skating rink to make friends, swimming in the new creek near the house, some motoring in a 12' runabout wooden motorboat, movies, tv etc.

College?

The next question on your mind is What About College? Well, it's this way, I had applied to go to College and was accepted at William and Mary before I asked my father about going. His response was "No you are not going to go to college becaue you are going to get married and have children anyway"! I never did tell him I had been accepted at college.

In a nutshell, that's pretty much what I did eventually do, after getting a job about 20 miles away, leaving home for a while, coming back home and meeting a boy who was a sailor at the local roller rink. We did get married and had two children a boy and a girl.They turned out to be the lights of my life. My life was setteled for a few years with bringing them up after that. But after that came divorce, another lonely time.

At that point I really needed to make more friends, so I did in a new church. Some of them are still friends today and I always look for more friends. You are who you surroound yourself with. That is an old adage, but nevertheless very true. Pick people who are more educated than you and will share what they know. So my friends that is why it is so important to socialize, to make new friends and remake your families because we all need positive input into our families. We all need more encouragement to do better in our lives in life. I did eventually go to a community college and get an AA degree. Never give up on your dreams, never. You will find your way if you listen to your inner voice, it might take years to be able to do that, but don't give up, ever! Hugs to you all. And these are all the reasons why I write and coach!

I wish you a Peacefull and Happy Holiday

To help you make peace within your own families where ever there is strife, or pain, you have my love to put in the cracks. Love to prop you up so you may help others up when they need it. I don't see people as blacks, or whites, rather as individuals making their way forward.

Some people have special talents: Baseball players, ballerinas, musicians, truck drivers, and chefs are special just as they are! But, not for their talents rather for themselves as people, their warm hearts, the special things we all do for and with each other. Those people who go to a homeless shelter and help fix dinner are good people, find some of them and join in.

When your sister's upset and you take her something she enjoys to eat or drink and while there you give her a big hug. The hug is what she needs most and your'e there with your arms around her. That is one of the most important things you can do for each other, be supportive. You can make hers, or your brother smile like no one else can. Why, because you have always had that knack to get the smile to come through and you love one another deep down.

When you need that bit of extra help Ask for it!

I do understand that sometimes it's harder to get through to each other. Because life can get screwy and your mind goes in different directions in some situations. You can need help dealing with big problems to get through to each other. It's okay to need the help, but even better when you ask for that help, and get it.

None of us can solve big problems all alone. We sometimes needs to ask for professional help to solve a difficult problem. It's ok to ask for help! In fact you must ask for help because none of us has all the answers. That's why athletes have coaches, professionals have organizations, and little kids get big brothers.

We have best friends because two minds are better than one. Our friends who love us will help us out of a hole most of the time, or they can bury you in a hole if you are not careful. The people in your life who lift you up are the ones you need to be with most of the time.

I'll go With You 

You know the guy who says I'll go with you to the doctor. The one who asks how you are doing when he hasn't heard from you for a few days are usually the ones you can count on in a bad situation. Unless they have ulterior motives to sell you something you don't need just to line their pockets.

But, lets concentrate on those who do raise you up. Parents are good for that most of the time. Your minister can do a great job of lifting your spirit. If he or she can't then you need to find someone who will. Music can lift your spirit when you choose the right kind of tunes. Rap will probably not lift your spirit. So change the radio dial, switch the channel baby quick.

Find those one or two people who always lift your spirits. It is extremely important to find someone who doesn't lie to you, who doesn't cheat on you, or become a false friend. Get to know who your real friends are. Find those who don't drag you down, who say nice things about you, your choices and the way you live your life. Acknowledge those who keep you upbeat, and safe when you are out and about. Look for the good in everyone. There is usually some there, it might be hard to find sometimes, but look anyway. If you can't find it move on because they will drag you down to their level.

Renew your Friendships

Renew your friendships during the holiday if you can. Say nice things to people, remember when you did something good for one another. Tell them how much you appreciate them for being a great person to you or their helping someone else. Goodness to one another is boundless when you work together for a greater good. And you can also help others. Get a group of friends, go to a grocery store and pay for someone else's food in line.

Get together with a group of people and plan something to benefit people in a senior complex, or nursing home. They need social activities so much it's almost heartbreaking.

I did visit a few this year while volunteering for the democratic political organization to verify voting in my area. One place I went the person I had to speak to was leading a group event. When entering the room there were about 20 women in wheelchairs. Some were attentive and others not so much.

The Women

My mind took me aback because in a few years I might be in their same position. The women did not seem unhappy, but seeing them all together like that made me think about how they spend their days. Wondering about their abilities of clear thoughts and what keeps them active, has kept me up at night and worries me.They made me wonder who helped raise their spirits up!

So my challenge for the new year is to figure out what my talents are to help in that kind of an atmosphere. Why, because the entire world does not revolve around me or my interests. There is a need for all to find our sweet spot, our place to help others. Better health care has enables us to live longer than ever. Many of us will live well beyond 100 years of age and be able to still get around and help others.

Your Smile

At ages of 80 and 90 we are still cleaning our own homes, getting groceries, some driving. We are still seeing our friends, lunching out and helping each other by being friends into old age. Don' t forget your relatives who are living in nursing homes. They haven't forgotten you or your smile.

What is your challenge for a new year? Is it also to have a peaceful holiday, or an active happy one while seeing relatives in and out of nursng homes? Have you raised their spirits up? Or is it both? Oh and when you are on Facebook, don't write hateful words. There is already too much of that going on.

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11 Tips to Get Over this Election

On November 8, the American people spoke clearly, and chose Hillary Clinton for President.

As of this writing, Clinton leads the popular vote by roughly 20,000 votes, with 92% counted. Further, her lead will likely to grow, with most of the remaining votes coming from blue states California, Oregon and Washington.

11 Tips

1 Take a really long deep breath

2 Realize this will be a long process

3 Remember that this new president probably will not affect you and your family unless you are an illegal immigrant

4 Take the time to teach your children to respect others including yourselves as parents

5 Make a commitment to respect each other as a parent and show it when the children are around

6 Praise any family member when they do something good for one another, even your partner

7 Thank each other on a regular basis for being a good family member or helping out with a project around the house or in the neighborhood

9 Learn how to show your love more in the open, in a restaurant, or at a family event

8 Always remember nothing is as important as love and commitment

10 Do little things that show your appreciation for one another

11 Do be kind to one another everyday in every way

What this is really about

What this political race has been about is Trumps overt criticism against a womans feelings of personal decency, and her safety in the same room with him. Turning his indecencies toward them, his sexual overtones makes them feel less than respected. It does not matter what they do because all he wants to do is sexualize them. He demands attention from them by being a smug insulter of their intelligence.

This election has been about overt racism and a hostility toward minorities. It’s about crassness and vulgarity and disregard for women. It’s about a barricaded, militarized, bully nation.

Before he really is in office we have lost our way to figure out how we can all matter more in each others lives to help one another.

But, we don't have to stay lost. We can pick ourselves up by being better to each other everyday. To not forget about who we truly love and what it is that we love about one another. He can only do so much because he is not in our homes or our hearts. We have already seen how he operates trying to get us to go against each other like he went after our military veterans, heroes, and smart women.

Look at how he weekly victimized Secretary Hillary Clinton as " Crooked" she does not deserve that moniker. He criticized her daily, tore her down as much as he could. Yet today practically at her feet saying how much she has given of herself to the country which she has. How two faced can you be. It's one thing to try to be nice, but to praise her after he tore her apart! That is insincerity at the highest level.

In a word yes I am not a fan of his. Personally, this morning has been really rough for me. Because I believe in what Hillary Clinton stands for and has accomplished. It has been doubly hard for her. She has made some mistakes along the way some were small and others bigger. She has always taken responsibility for her actions, and apologized as she is human just like the rest of us.

The electoral college

The big kicker for me is that Hillary did win the election by 20,000 votes. Now we are finding that ehr elad was over 2 million votes. Where is the equality in that I ask you?Jill Stein of the Gree Party had raised enough funds that she is contesting the election votes in three key states, Ohio, Florida and Wisconsin. But, because of the Electoral College Hillary lost the election. And one other thing our first "black president" has to hand over the keys of the White house to a man who is endorsed by the KKK and ahs an unsavory character like Stephen Bannon a known right wingnut! Not sure how we overcome all of this absolute negative atmosphere and kneejerk reactions of Trump at this point.

Facebook Opinions

Here are a few comments from fellow Facebook friends that I think are interesting. Names have been omitted to protect their privacy:

“It’s not just that Americans are willing to overlook unfathomable depths of misogyny. It’s that they actively rejected a woman who represents the opposite.”

Many, many, many whites did NOT vote for that gasbag. Race may be a factor, but it was not the primary factor. Trump votes don't have friends that are not white straight Christian males. God this is the worst. I'm so afraid. What the hell happened. I think our voting system was hacked. I'm in complete shock.

All the Loons came out to vote for the first time ever and lots of the normal people didn't bother because there was no way it was going to happen. It's the same thing that happened here with the Brexit Farce!

Been up most if the night, while I am disappointed by the results, hell disgusted and a host of other words. Voluntarily lost a few "friends", love will always trump hate....one person at a time.

I keep reminding myself - "The only thing to fear, is fear itself." Although I am in upset, healing myself is the first step in healing our nation.

I am heart broken...America just said it is okay to discriminate against people of color. It's okay to bully and abuse women...it is okay to denigrate people of different faiths. It's not okay to love or marry if you are same gender loving...it's not okay to have control over our bodies in matters of abortion. It's okay to not pay taxes and segregate.; further increasing the gap between the Haves and the Have nots... It's okay to make fun and chastise differently abled people and those who do not fit the image of your playboy model wife. America just said it's okay to be white, and privileged. "We" made America great again. When has America ever been great for the Native Americans, African Americans, women and same gendered loving people. I am saddened! God have mercy on this country. An arrogant, impulsive, narcissistic, racist, sexist, xenophobic male of white privilege will have the nuclear codes.

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Who are you?

10-20-2016 That's the famous question that we should ask ourselves every six months. To be your authentic self you need to ask the question! You also need to write down the answer. Why should you do this personal work? Because sometimes we forget who we are. We get lost in all the craziness in daily chores. What we think is important in our lives, news on our television sets and cell phones often isn't important at all. Some of it concerns us and some not so much.

How do you feel about this coming election? Are your feelings based on the real facts? Are you doing your own research on real facts or just taking someone else's word as fact filled information and reacting to it? Can you change your mind when you find out the facts?

It's paramount to be able to say "well maybe I was wrong before"! That is a powerful and bold statement. It's important to realize and to say I've changed my mind on that because I now have checked the facts and found out that I was wrong.

It is important to be able to admit to yourself that you are wrong. Why is it so important, because that proves you can be a rational and independent person. Those actions make you unique in our world of smart thinkers. How many times do you think Einstein had thoughts that he couldn't prove?

Famous scientist Albert Einstein had such a momentous capacity to think about the natural world, he changed his mind thousands of times in his lifetime. Einstein's thoughts became his theories. He changed Newton's three laws and transformed physics. His thoughts and theories became a foundation for astrophysics and the atomic bomb.

If such a celebrated mind like his can change his mind, so can you and without feeling guilty about it. That is enough proof that you can change your mind and still be okay with your thoughts. So, listen to your innermost thoughts, your dreams, your happiness and that of other people in your life. Take the time to organize your thoughts and let your heart speak for you when you need that. Do not be afraid to let your heart speak through you! Why, because that can bring about the most momentous changes you will ever have in your entire lifetime!

Don't be afraid of change rather endorse change if it will open doors for you, your family, and your company. Yes you can talk about it with your family and real friends and your staff. Do not be afraid to change, it can be the best thing to propel your life forward.

Be sure you are in a safe environment where their minds are open as well. Make a commitment to have a safe space where you can talk about needed changes for yourself and your employees.

Love and Hugs Written by Coaching Change Specialist Diane Knaus

My Attention Hijacked by Our Political Election in the Last Few Weeks

I am a passionate person about life. Political elections are important as all can attest to in recent weeks. I have discussed my insistence on being truthful, treating each other with respect as an extremely important issue in all aspects of life in this forum.

Then along come a most dis-respectfull man who thinks women should just bow down to him and do whatever he wants. He is running for President of the United States. Unfortunately from what I have read and watched and heard, he lies in almost any sentence he speaks:

Our media has said "Sep 26, 2016 - It's difficult to overstate just how often, and how blatant Trump lies. See all Trump's lies Vox news. www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2016/9/26/13016146/donald-trump-liar-media

emailemail here

Lyin' Donald :101 of Trumps Greatest Lies My mind has been on the outrageous things he has said and done. And I wonder about the sanity of people who are voting for him. Don't get me wrong on this, I understand that there are many people in this country who are upset with our politics, as am I.

But, yet I look at a turn of political representatives who have decided to block anything by our president. I think that is totally wrong. It's wrong because that is their job.

Obstructionalists "republicans" have done everything that they could to not pass any bills put forth by our president. I do not expect them to pass all bills, but I do expect them to work together for the betterment of our entire country. By not doing that, they have made themselves irrelevant. Doing their jobs has been the last thing on their minds. And that my friends is unconscionable. As also are the number of days that they worked at their jobs. This congress has worked the least amount of days than any other congress we have ever had, plus they granted themselves a raise.

Not only that, but Paul Ryan "republican" stopped our country from running a year ago. He shut down the entire process and they went on strike.

You know what that did to our feelings of continuity! We felt that republicans abandoned us, and we were correct.

If any company let their officers do that they would be in bad straights. As we are as a nation with prior good womens rights. They are being attaked by republicans all the time, in any way that they could be. Even the United Nations has reported a bad example is being set by our congress.

According to the U.N. To whom does the Universal Declaration of Human Rights apply? To each individual, regardless of gender, race, religion or cultural background. Why is the Universal Declaration of Human Rights important to you? Because it protects and promotes your individual rights. Because of that is why we have had open borders for so many years.

And yes I know our borders are having problems with too many people trying to get in. And I know we can't take everyone who even needs to come in. Usually the ones coming over are people who are oppressed by politicians in other countries. We all know that not every person who asks for help is a criminal. So, that is a major problem that needs to be addressed better. Remember folks Hillary Clinton has said as much about that. Some attention have been aborted by dealing with Trumps temper tantrums and shenanigans. Yes he has taken up valuable time for no other reason than to have the attention of the public shed on him.

There are ongoing meetings with communities that are next to Mexican border and, I've seen live TV hearings on these issues. Those hearing were going on during the past three weeks.

The average processing time is: 7-8 months for a persons visa petition be approved by the Immigration Service;

It takes 1-3 months to receive a set of forms from the Department of State known as Packet 3; and 2-4 months until an interview is scheduled at the American Consulate. For people in the United States, the process is usually shorter.

Total processing time may be 9-12 months. That's dependent upon the Immigration Service office. That which has jurisdiction over where the person lives.

Trump has taken up so much of our time on TV it occurred to me that we have not given Secretary Hillary Clinton enough fair consideration. Yes, she has been our Secretary of State, and Senator to New York twice. For all purposes she has done a good job. Republican senators have said the same thing and some of them support her over Trump as are many other people switching sides.

Rumors have swilled around that she has lied. Last week I decided to see what I could find about those lies. I did watch a proceeding when the FBI was telling congress that he did not believe that Hillary was guilty of anything on purpose. I watched those senators grill him and I felt bad for him because some were downright disrespectful to him. He had a tough job to do knowing full well that these men were out for blood from Secretary Hillary Clinton. Believe me it showed too. They would ask him the same questions another way and he never wavered.

President George Bush and Dick Chaney Deleted over "22 Million Emails"

Yes we have a double standard for Male Presidents and our possible Female Presidents" ! My big question is this, should Secretary Hillary Clinton file a harassment suit against the republicans? Why, because they should be penalized for waisting so much money and time from the United States citizens from other real daily life concerns.

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"We Must Make Room For Healing from Within and All Around Us

9-23-2016 Remember, violence does not heal us. Violence divides us from our inner heart and down to our personal psyche, it is damaging to all of us because feelings creep inside and often become a part of us when we don't even realize it. That prevents us from healing, and can make us silent on many fronts. Silence to our families, to our sisters, brothers, children and husbands as well can destroy any family. We must not let that happen anymore here or around the entire world. We must work for peace within, that is a worthy goal and I ask you to put your energies towards it. This can make a great difference in someones life.See Video Here

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Just a little something for your pets,

Photo of the Blue Angels at a USNA Graduation by Diane Knaus

Photo of the Blue Angels at a USNA Academy Graduation by Diane Knaus

Remember Our Hero's and Let No One Put Them Asunder or Blemish Their Names or Heroic Deeds

9-11-2016 Heroes are those who save our lives, who do something big or small that makes a difference in the betterment of our lives. They usually don't brag about it to anyone. Rather they go on about their lives in a secure manner. Real heroes know that something they did helped a neighbor, a co-worker, relative, or a stranger. Many of our unknown heroes are members of our military forces who wish to remain anonymous. There are thousands who threw themselves on top of their buddies and took the bullets for them, or threw them out of harms way.

We also have everyday heroes who make sure someone gets the medical help that they need. Nurses and doctors go that extra step to make sure the patient is ok. There are good policeman, woman and social workers who go the extra step to "check back with a family. They help whoever is having a hard time working with them while in the system".

Then you have your best friend who goes the extra mile to help get important information to help you solve a problem.

True Stories

A stranger steps up to pay for your six items at the supermarket out of the pure goodness of his heart. Even thought you have enough money to pay and are not a model looking type of woman, he is gracious to you. With a full gray beard, tough worn hands and knuckles he throws a twenty down. He asks nothing in return, but you give him a smile from within your heart. He knows you are thankful. "True story".

You may be in a jam and be on the verge of losing your home. Moving night comes, a big 4 wheeler truck is parked in you front of your house. You can't see the driver, he's not there. You go checking door to door if anyone knows whose truck it is. Then he's there in front of you and says go ahead put your things in my truck and I'll take it anywhere you need to go. "True story".

These types of big heart centered helpers do exist in every part of our great big free country. We need to do something nice for them once in a while. Pay it forward, buy someone you don't know a coffee at a Duncan Donut, or a Mc Donalds, grocery store or anywhere you are at the moment.

Support Your Church

If that is not your thing you can always help out at your church. Fundraise for a special community project, or help out a family in need, help a small business person by being a mentor. The biggest thing to do is to decide to do something and then take steps forward to get it done. You might even think to gather a few friends together to join you.

Give a deserving person a used car, pay a few mortgage payments, pay a BGE bill, babysit when a mother or dad are working two jobs and has to work. Buy them some extra groceries. Or pay for someones medicine who is on a tight budget.

Is Your Company Socially Conscious

We need more companies to be more socially conscious. To help neighborhoods plant trees, paint the fronts of houses, fix porches. Change locks on front doors, etc. Plant more green trees and evergreens around their properties and neighborhoods. These things are cheap fixes, yet can dramatically change an entire neighborhoods environment. Almost every neighborhood can use some help.

You might even want to help finance a non-profit company. Maybe one that is waiting for an angel to help them with finances so they can continue their work.

For More information check out

Who do you memorialize and what for?

9-5-2016 We memorialize people and places when important events shape our worlds when an emergency occurs. This weekend and this whole month is a time when we remember our fallen women and men as service members.

We all need to remember that war is hell! It's no fun because you see your fellow services people killed standing right next to you. There is no return from that, once you are dead you're dead.

The next time you have an argument with your neighbor, remember, don't make it into a war zone in your neighborhood. Sometimes you need to hold your tongue. You also need to control the words that come out of your mouth. Be more civilized instead of using every four letter word you know when confronting someone in the street.

Even though we do have the freedom of speech in our country, we need to know how to be effective to get our message across. It's important to our neighbors and families that we understand eac other. We need to agree on our community standards of behavior.

Of course that also affects policemen, and medics in uniform as well. Pay attention to your tones and loudness of your voices. How we project our personal opinions is going to be even more important to our well being from now on. Respect your selves like you want respect from others. That will take you a long way to more successful encounters with others in your neighborhood.

One final reminder for the rest of the month. Be kind to others who you have daily contact with. Remember it could be you in their situation at any point in your life. Also, do not forget who your friends or relatives are, even if you don't always agre with them a 100%. It's ok, none of us is perfect, not me, not you, nor any of your friends. Its just that more times than not you need to consider other peoples feelings. Take a deep breath before criticizing someone elses opinion.

olympic medals

2016 Olympic medals

Do You Want Your Child to be an Olympic Champion?

Wow, that is an impressive want for any parent. Not to mention the countless hours of dedication needed for your child. The real question is how much does your child want it? Or how much do you really want it for them?

Many parents eventually wind up taking their child out of normal schooling to devote more time to their chosen sport.But, that is many eyars after being active week in and week out with pratices.

Sometimes it's better if you wait and just don't say anything until your child brings it up. If it's something you want to inquire about thats one thing. If your child brings it up it's another character entirely.

Let's take for instance swimming. Of course Michael Phelps from Maryland is the highest winner of all time Gold medals for swimming as I write this . He has won a total of 26 medals, but 23 are Gold. Of course you have to remember he is the exception to the rule. Please hold him up for his determined attitude for what he has accomplished. He has worked his butt off to get where he is today. Kelly Ledecky and Lily King also won gold medals for swimming.They all swam at swim clubs with a coach as a mentor. That is a key factor in todays successful atheletes.

USA Gold Medalists

As a country the United States won a top total of 121 medals, 46 of them were gold, 37 Silver, 38 Bronze. Our committed athletes won 16 gold medals in Swimming, Athletics 13 golds, Gymnastics 4.

China was the 2nd country for the most medals achieving 70 from their athletes. Golds were 26, Silvers 18, and Bronze came in at 26 for a total of 70 medals.

Great Britain athletes won number three spot for total number of 67 medals. Gold 27, Silvers 23, and Bronzes at 17 medals.

Each country can enter up to two swimmers per individual event (provided they qualify), and one entry per relay. A country may not have more than 26 males and 26 females (52 total) on its team. Other than those specifics that is all I can cover in my article today.

If you have dreams of competing in the Olympics or think one of your children would like to compete, you can go to any local sports complex. Most states have dedicated sports groups. Don't forget that most people who are in the games for medals use a dedicated coach. Any athelete will tell you that. It usually needs to be someone who is not family. You can also check out the IOC web sitefor additional information https://www.olympic.org/ And check out :olympic.org/news/

Next week I'll cover a few of the medalists as individuals.

Thank you and have a great week with your family. Hugs, Diane

PS

If you have an infant that is under a year old, you must use swimmer vests or water wings what ever it is called in your area for the babies safety in the water. And don't ever leave a baby in any pool alone! Please!

I couldn't Resist this

I believe that all animals interactions with children are important to growing up as a well rounded person. Why do I beleive that? Because we need to understand the complex and interactions of animals around us to know how life in this entire world effects us. For the same reasons that why bees are important to us all. They pollinate our crops that feed us all year around.

Animals like the baby elephant and the girl are precious simply because they are both only young one time in their lives. The two of them are having a wonderful life moment and that is precious especially because of what they will be when they are fully grown. The baby elephant will be huge. Probably weighing several tons in size compared to the little girl who may get to be six foot tall. Yet if they stayed in touch they likely would become great friends all through their lives.

Each year there is a celebration of World Elephant Day Events and this year it was celebrated at The Elephant Sanctuary On Aug. 12, 2016. In the US there is an Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee.

A Grandmother and Grandson at the Dog Park

8-1-2016 A couple of times a week I visit a nearby recreation park for a brisk walk to loosen up my legs from sitting in my desk chair so much. A few days ago I also visited the big dog park which is enclosed with 6 foot fencing. Bowls of water and lots of room for them to run and play together are there. People will throw balls for them to chase and Frisbees. There is always a pool filled with water that they willingly walk into and sometimes just lay down in the water depending on how hot they are.

Last week a grandmother brought her 2 year old grandson into the area. He was about 2 foot tall. Usually many of the dogs come up to you when you enter because they want to sniff whoever or whatever comes into the area. This time was no different. A few came over and sniffed at the boy who was not too happy about that. But, it's a big dog area fenced in with six ft. high fencing in the park.

A little while later grandmother took the child out into the grass and began to walk him. Well, he stumbled a few times. Some of the dogs kept up with him and one of them knocked him down a few times playing. Grandmother took him further out in the grass to get away from the dog. That didn't seem to matter to them as they are fast on their four furry feet, and like running with the rest of the dogs.

She began to get upset that the one dog wanted to keep jumping on the child knocking him down. But, being a dog that is what they do to play with each other or children/adults and rolling around in the grass. Of course they also pee in it and poo in the grass as well. Sometimes a park employee comes along and cleans it up while people are there.

Grandmother begins to yell at the dogs. Of course that doesn't help the situation at all. One of the dog owners goes over to grandmother and says something to her. Other owners are upset that she is in the "big dog fenced in area" at all with a child that size. I don't think she had thought it through much.

There is another area for smaller dogs right next to the one she was in. She could have been new to the area, or didn't see the smaller pen nearby. Although sometimes smaller dogs can be more aggressive.

Asked to take the child out of the pen for his own safety, she didn't do that right away. The dogs continued to come up to the boy, not menacing him, just doing their natural thing sniffing, leaning on him etc. Finally she took the child off in a huff and angry that she was asked to leave by one of the dogs owners. Out the gate they went. A catastrophe didn't happen, but it could have.

What the grandma didn't get was that the entire park except that area is for usually teens/adults to have fun in with other animals. A horse barn is on site for horse back riders to put saddles on or groom their horses. Plenty of wide walkways are available for everyone to use, for riding bikes, or running. Youth sports teams can use soccer and baseball fields. Grass is plentiful to walk in or to sit in, or roll in and people watching as well.

A children's park area, great for small children, just like the one she brought with her is available. Equipment such as swings, sliding boards are there. They are just in another part of the park.

If grandma is coming this summer and wants to take junior or pretty girl to the park, check it out first. You can go with them to scout out the best area for them. Or you can go online to find out what is in the park and what there is to do with young children. If you are in a new area ask a neighbor about local parks and amusements for children.

Have a great summer, remember to relax and check out things ahead of time to be certain there won't be any mishaps in your summer. Love to everyone, Momsez!

We are Living in Historic Political Times as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton vs. TV Hypester Donald Trump Duke it out for the Presidency of the United States

7-27-2016 Activities at the conventions have been from one extreme to another. One party hyping meanness and shouting about wars. The other, expressions of hope and fairness, going forward together. Then we put together two personalities and we get fireworks for tv viewing. The difference between the two people is gigantic. One is inherently mean. and unfair with no political experience. The other is a supporter of families, fairness and being progressive in every way and a polished politician with many allies.

The biggest challenge for us and our families is which one to choose. That is more important now than ever because our children are watching. You know they watch everything, remember when you were a child you also saw everything. If you are a history buff you have no doubt heard of the Third Reich and Hitler. Yes I only mention it because of how Donald Trump is behaving. Trust me I am not looking for an argument here , just stating the facts as I see them.

I know many people will not agree with me and that is ok. We don't all have to believe the same things. However, we should agree, major changes are needed within our government, and the way we are being governed. Therefore things need to change for the better of all communities.It is one thing to admit that we need major changes, and another as to how that can be successfully accomplished. I do not want a brash loud mouth bully who alienates people on every level. I am all for an accomplished seasoned politician who knows how to get along with people from all countries at all levels. Why, because those are what skills you need to be President of the United States of America.

Nazi Germany, was known as the Third Reich (German: Drittes Reich). It was a period in German history the country was governed by a dictator. Under the control of Adolf Hitler thousands of Jews were inhumanely killed and anyone else who was not white or blonde haired. They were killed because they were not pure enough for Hitler.

I do not write this in fun or in jest, rather, in all seriousness. Why, because of the stranglehold the Republicans have held us to in the past eight years. Every time a woman's right to anything has been brought up there was immediate hate filled fear mongering thrown at us.

In Texas their men tried to shut down Planned Parenthood offices and abortion clinics. Many places where women could go for many types of health care are marginalized as are women's rights. Their doctors are harassed as well. Then this discrimination was taken up by the Supreme Court and judges on the court struck down the restrictions that republicans wanted to heave at women! Thank goodness for that.

When governments are shut down by a few politicians like Paul Ryan most of the time in history it has caused riots by the people in the streets. Come on now think about it when the vegetable vendor in Tunesia had his scale stolen by a woman from the government, he got fed up. He set himself on fire and ultimately died. He felt he had no choice because he only made $10.00 a day and was trying to help out his family by selling fruit. People took to the streets and demonstrated and rioted. Right after that riots started in other countries to protest their government treatment. I am including a video of that first burst of "I've had enough". That type of action is what causes riots and when people have finally had it with government.

It must be noted here that in 2008 the US had it' s financial head cut off so to speak. We have had companies go out of business, companies leave our country to find cheaper labor. Banks were closed and now finally the economy is in much better shape thanks to President Obama. Our rate of unemployment is way down. The only thing that we don't know is about the people who have stopped looking for work so we can't figure out what the real numbers are.

The real truth of America is that unemployment is currently below under 5% which is the best we have seen in years.

In the spirit of hope for our future, my thoughts and support goes to Hillary Clinton. She is the best hope for a positive outcome for our entire country. She has supported families and children since she first got into political office. Her perseverance under extreme scrutiny from republicans over the past three years is astounding. All of us are entitled to our own opinion. No one has the right to lie about anything we want to. No politician has the right to lie to any citizen either. If you do you are called a liar for real!

While watching the Democratic convention I felt absolutely inspired. Can you imagine how Hillary must have felt when the Pope endorsed her? That made chills go up and down my spine in a good way.

Last night First Lady Michelle Obama spoke elegantly in favor of supporting Hillary, so did Cory Booker. Oprah Winfrey said "Regardless of your politics, it's a seminal moment for women. What this says is, there is no ceiling, that ceiling just went boom! It says anything is possible when you can be leader of the free world."

During one of the many heart filled moments was an appearance of 8 mothers on stage,mothers of 8 slain young people of color who have been killed in the midst of violence by policemen. Yes, Trevon Martins mother was one of them. Some of them told stories of their children and others who were involved through no fault of their own. Like the 6 other girls who were also found dead in jail cells after they were pulled over for traffic tickets in Texas. It's bad enough that girls are killed on any basis for nothing, but to kill them for a traffic stoop! That is ludicrous and the federal government should get more involved in their cases. When you commit a heinous crime you should be punished for it period.

According to Health and Human Services Secretary Sylvia Burwell, she said in May that 20 million people have insurance because of the Affordable Care Act. Known as Obamacare, it includes those who obtained coverage on the healthcare exchanges. That is including 11 million people and from other provisions of the law, such as allowing children to stay on their parents' insurance until age 26.

I want you to check out what an ex- NYPD detective said about hillary when the 911 fiasco happened. He spoke about what Hillary did for our first responders. Getting them health care, knowing full well that they would get shoved aside unless someone did help them. She knew because they would have health needs after being involved in such an amount of asbestos from the buildings raining down on them for days.

Joe Sweeney said, "Within 48 hours of the towers falling, Hillary introduced a bill -- signed into law -- that helped first responders get the benefits they earned easier and faster." What was it Trump said, he saw muslims dancing in the streets from his tower windows".

Hillary Clinton was slow to come to the table on gay rights and equal marriage as have been many others of us. But, she did come to the table and broke bread with the people who have been asking for that right for a long time. She is not an obstructionist, rather a thinker and progressive person as I have ever met. We desperately need progressives to help us move further along our paths to be greater tomorrow than we are today.

When former President Bill Clinton took the stage he did it with ever so much candor,grace,authority and authenticity, spoke about how he and Hillary met. I felt it was the personal touch that we have not had throughout the political run so far. He did speak about Hillary going to work for a non-profit as soon as she got out of college. Then he chronicled her support of families and children through out her lifetime. He spoke about her interest in women's and children's rights here in America and abroad in other countries that she has addressed.

Former President Bill Clinton has a different take on Hillary because he is her husband. They have gotten through life together when sometimes we thought they would just give up. Hooray for them, I am glad that they have found a way to work things out together. Their happiness shows when they are on TV. They are real people who have problems just like the rest of us.They both put their clothes on the same way you and I do.

Personally I think that Bill Clinton is an A+ speaker. When you get into a bind take speech lessons whether it is being a Toastmasters member or not. If your children are going to college influence them to take on debate lessons. Knowing how to speak effectively in public can change your life's goals, your ambitions, and your family fortunes.

PS

Remember when Trump called out Hillary on getting high speaking fees? What you might have missed was that Goldman Sachs has a corner on the market for helping women business owners. Hillary Clinton is a member of that committee. Although the speech that was referred to was a private speech given to other business interests.

While raising your children, please place an emphasis on telling the truth. Don't interrogate them, just put out a rule to tell the truth. Encourage them to speak up and support someone who is being bullied. Tell them how much you love them on a daily basis. They need to hear that just as much as you need to hear it. Of course these words go right back as you as well.

"Love You"

PS

Check out the fact checkers at:

http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/26/politics/democratic-convention-fact-check/

I Love You Pay Attention!heart .jpg

Yes, that phrase is one of the most important ones you will ever hear. It is even more important to say it everyday in some manner to everyone in your family. That sentiment counts to the littlest baby and your partner. Even when your 12 month or 18 months old is building blocks and messes them up, then it counts big time.

Why should it count when the blocks are tumbling down? Because that is when we learn the most as how blocks need to be so they will not fall down. It's like life is, if you build a family on a rocky foundation at some point it will crumble. You'll just have to trust me on that! Integrity is a must for you to use everyday. Do not lie, do not insinuate, do not bully anyone because it will come right back to you, and do not call one another nasty names. Keep your word even if it's difficult, so don't "willy nilly promise someone you will do it if you have no intention of finishing". Building blocks in a better way will solve problems. When the blocks fall down it is because you have caused them to fall. Be willing to learn how to build from the ground up.

Use your common sense

If you have two children, one a year ahead of the another, you carry the biggest child if you are the Dad. Mom can handle the little one. Don't be afraid to carry something else as well. Moms are usually smaller built than a Dad and you can handle a couple of things more simply because you are bigger. Yes, I know that is common sense, but not all Dads have as much sense as Mom does, sorry guys.

Building a family takes work from both people, because it's too much work for one person who has all of the responsibility thrown at them

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When building a family it takes work from both sides and suggestions from both parents to make life smooth. A great life includes inclusion when making big decisions. Ask each other if what you have just said makes sense. Do not be afraid to ask because that is a major part of your foundation. Just do not ask in frustration "What do you care" ? Then you are going to get blasted because you will be told just how much someone else cares and you will be the bad guy!

No bullying toward anyone, not your children or partner

When you are having a good conversation then you say or insinuate that the other person has lied or you keep digging at the why, you will lose. That makes someone defensive and when people are defensive they will strike back at you. Prepare yourself for this reaction if you are accusing someone of lying or stretching the truth.

"Don't worry, be happy!" That is a good way to be, but you do need to communicate happiness to each other as much as you can. It really isn't about winning or even losing. Life is all about getting along with someone and staying happy yourself with your choices. If you are not happy it's up to you to find out why, not someone else. No one else can make you happy, that is your job! You and your wife or partner may be smart people, but that doesn't make you right all the time. Like your grandparents and parents told you that you forgot, take flowers home. Pick up a box of favorite candy, or stop at the store and get a bottle of wine or chicken fingers, chinese food, whatever the flavor of the day might be. Maybe even find a nice greeting card that fits the moment. You will be so glad you did.

The things I regret the most

Most people at the end of their lives say to themselves that they regret the things that they did not do! That can include how you treat each other, what vacations you did not go on. The little things that you could have said to each other that didn't get said will be the major things that will bother you. It will bother you if you have not been kind to your family and friends. Or if it doesn't bother you it will bother them. Sometimes a simple "I am sorry for some of my angry words I threw at you" that can be a big help toward easing anger.

The real difference in relationships is when you realize that you have been too harsh too many times. When you start to do something about it that is when a real change can happen for the better for both of you. Don't be afraid to say I am sorry! Saying "I am sorry" proves that you are human and that you respect your mate. That is a good thing now isn't it?

It takes two or more to raise a child

Remember it takes two people to make a commitment, and sometimes a village to make it so. If a good friend tries to tell you to lighten up, or don't be such a dumb ass it would be a good idea to ask why and then to listen close to what they say.If you ask your parents they might be willing to answer some questions for you as well.

You also need to be happy with yourself to give happiness to others. If there is something bothering you do something to make it okay. Do not smack your partner around because you are angry at yourself for cheating. You need to smack yourself around for that. You are responsible for your own behavior not someone else's actions.blangry.jpg

You have to make yourself happy, no one else can do that!

To make yourself happy you have to make it so, no one else can do that for you. It is not your partners responsibility to make you happy with yourself, because only you can do that.

If you fear you can't get over whatever it is that is making you unhappy go to see a counselor. They are in business to help you figure out what is wrong. A good counselor will not do the emotional work for you. That is your job, a professional will get you to see what you can change to make things work better for you. Ultimately it's your job, not someone else's. Remember I Love You!smiley.jpg

If you feel you need a coaching program to have a better life email here. I am providing ongoing programs for three months at a time to 12 months for a lasting change.

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Children Who Don't Listen

Children who don't listen can be a danger to all who are around them. Take the child who went to the zoo and slipped into the gorilla enclosure and almost got hurt by the gorilla. He, the gorilla was just trying to figure out what to do with the child. Although a powerful gorilla, he was being gentle as far as I could see except for dragging him through the water. If the gorilla had wanted to he could have killed the child. By the sheer size of the animal he could have done much damage to the little boy. He did not make any moves to harm the child on purpose.

It is too bad that the child fell and that the gorilla had to die. The death was a result out of fear of the zoo manager in what the gorilla could have done.

When you have a child that you know does not listen well, he or she needs to be on some kind of restriction. His mother told the boy not to go near the fence. At his age, I think he was three years old, children do not have a sense of real fear or danger. Whether it is a person assigned to them, or a leash type of control it does not matter. Some kind of control needs to be available for children who do not obey as well as other children.

The zoo management changed the front access to the enclosure to use a small holed fence at the front as soon as they could. To shore up the immediate area to protect any other child who might try the same thing was a paramount concern and fixed. This has been a big lesson to other zoos around the usa and others are making similar changes to their attractions.

We have in the past been in the company of children who leave a group when traveling. That is another real concern for parents because if they go off somewhere with a stranger you never know what could happen to the child.

There are thousands of things you could worry about happening to your children, but won't happen in reality.

But the worst crime that can happen is that a child might ge t snatched by someone who will do them harm. Statistics show that most times it is someone who you know who will do that to a child. Many times it's a relative that has too much access to a child on a regular basis. Someone who isn't chaperoned or takes the child out for ice cream or other things or something on a regular basis. Do not ever force your child to go with someone they don't want to go with. Trust your child's instinct and reactions and your pets as well. Pets have a sixth sense about those who would harm children and smaller animals.

Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. There are many things to be on the alert about. Protecting your child is the first thing. Protection in all places is important. Our children are our future, our loves, our special ones who give us back unconditional love when we need it. They are the future of our entire world and we need to protect them from harm.

Happy Fathers Day to the Good Guys Out There Who Are Good Fathers

It is Usually a Fathers Duty to Teach Our Young Boys How to Be A Man

6-19-2016 However er, sometimes there isn't a father figure around because he is working, has physical or metal problems, or the parents are divorced. Sometimes the real reasons are harder to deal with because addictions are the cause of a father figure not being available as well.

I do understand about being a woman raising your family alone, because, that is what I had to deal with. I have had to be father and mother and I understand how hard that is from experience. I also can attest to the blessings when they have grown up to be good adults who love each other and the families they have and love.

Fathers aren't around for hundreds of reasons. It does not mean he doesn't love the children, rather something he won't want to own up to. Having physical, metal problems, or feels guilty for something he has or hasn't done could be more to the point. If a person has some kind of addiction that can cause him to not be around and be even harder for the entire family.

When parents divorce, or split up it is never the child's fault. The most important thing is how the parents allow each other to have influence over the children. Some men just run away from it without talking out how they want to be in their children's lives. Some men don't want to talk about it because they feel guilty for not being a better husband to their wives. >Guilt and not talking things out can ruin many a man who decides not to talk about things or to try to work them out.

That attitude is wrong. Why is it wrong, because if a man makes the time to actually be there for his children at least they can see that he is there for them. No one is perfect, because we are all human, and humans make mistakes.

One of the best things we can all do is to make a promise to talk things out, any problems that come up. Your communications between each other are of paramount importance. To continue any kind of relationship, the best outcome is what you say and how you say it.

Usually when your children start having problems in school you will know about it when a note is sent home by a teacher. That is big red flag that something has to change at home. More attention to the reasons for a child's frustrations and how they express them is critical.

Frustrations come in many forms and actions by kids involved. When they become adults the ramifications become much worse.

Last weekend a man used guns to express his feelings of hatred. He was an American, being born here. Then 49 people were shot, killed, another 53 wounded. In the end game he had interests in ISIS and their terror propaganda. Propaganda against people in America, gay people whom he was beginning to identify with must have made him fear life more. When his intense interest came to a tipping point, his violent thoughts began racing and he began to buy guns and ammunition. He made financial arrangements for his wife, sold his house to his sister and other things we may not know about yet.

Investigators found he was expelled from school, reprimanded more than 33 times. His actions against others while in school, discipline at home would be best attached to his actions as an adult. Yet his father said he was an adult and he had no control over him. He also thought his son was not mentally ill.

Yet there are plenty of people would disagree with him on that. As a parent you are responsible for their actions when they are children up to the age of 18 in most states.

My thoughts and prayers have been on the loss of life and casualties in Orlando this week. Many loved ones in the US will now pay more attention to matters of inclusiveness, and feelings. as a result of the killers actions.

Be Effective When You Correct Your Children

When your children do things that are not right and they keep on doing those things there needs to be a correction for their behavior. Even if it's mouthing off to you. It is not right for a little child under the ago of four to say nasty things to you. Even if they get a swat on the behind which will hurt their ego more than anything else, it's ok. Time out in a corner works wonders because they get bored of staring at the crack in the corner. You might need to get a chair for them to sit on to reinforce your intention. You will find later on that they will be okay with that, or they will stop the behavior.

Three Things About Feelings

1. Boys especially need to be able to talk to you about their feelings because otherwise they will bottle them up inside, and look out when they explode..

2. Holding feelings inside leads to real body sickness later and stresses you can't imagine.

3. When boys bottle up emotions they often explode into behavior issues when they are between 9-14.

Register on Sports Teams

Register the boys on athletic teams where they can find an outlet for their energy, to work their frustrations out on the fields. Somewhere they can learn teamwork and get that energy to work for them. Sports leads to better concentration on real world tasks. It leads their energies to wake up their brains quicker. It does not matter what kind of sports team, but it should be something that they like, or would like to learn more about. Yoga, meditation, tennis, basketball, running, track, are all good diversions for getting more energy.

Other Interests

Any extra curricular interest that they have should work to give them more interests in life. It does not matter whether it is art, music, science, stars, space, dance, children's theater. Get them involved in learning more and it will open their lives to a more enriched life.

Explore the World

As a parent you need to lead your children to like to explore the entire world. Art at children's museums, music at festivals, face painting, reading books about nature, are all fun things to do. Building cars, taking care of a pet it all works together.

Girls are a little different because of an innate need to talk and get things worked out. But, they also need to get their feelings out and acknowledged just like the boys do.

Three important things to pay attention to

1. Anger

2. Jealousy

3. Love

Hugs, Pats and Praise Work Too

Remember, we all need hugs, and pats on the back when we do the right thing. Everyone responds to praise for the things we do that are right. Even employees need these things as well as everyone in our families.

You yourself have personal needs which need addressing from time to time.

It is okay to ask for psychological help if you are feeling unsure how to handle a situation. I fact I recommend it. I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

I do coaching on changes in family life, business life changes and with groups

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15 Tips to Calm a Crying Baby

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5-31-2016

1. When a baby is crying uncontrollably you need to stop everything you are doing

2. Get your self calm first

3. Do not yell at the baby

4. Take a deep breath

5. Pick the child up carefully.

6. Gently hold the baby close to you

7. Do not squeeze the child

8. Do not pat the baby on the back or bounce them quickly

9. Do not bounce the baby

10. Just careful to hold the baby still

11. Be Gentle rub your hand on the baby's back slow, ( not in short quick movements)

12. If the baby is sweating go to your nearest water faucet, get a clean washcloth wet it with warm water only

13. Be gentile, wipe the baby's face and or shoulders then be soft and pat it dry

14. If people in the room are arguing take the baby out of the room immediately

15. If someone is yelling at you while you are holding the baby leave the room immediately, get yourself and the child away from this person or people as soon as possible

This will make them more comfortable for the moment. It may take a few minutes to get the child calmer. Be sure to keep your voice level down. Try to sing to the child, a sweet song that they like or lullaby. Start to tell him/her a story that you know they like.

If you think the baby might be hungry check the last time they ate. Get something they can eat and make it as quick as you can. Be careful don't make it too hot. Sometimes a drink of water can help. Sometimes it is just too hot outside or in a cramped apartment for a small child. Keep them calm and cool by making sure they have enough water.

Could be that they are just wet or have a messy diaper. Some children act that way when their behind is sore from not having a diaper change often enough. Parents who are lax about changing diapers often have unhappy children. That creates pain from the strength of the urine on their bottoms and it makes their skin red. Wipe their bottoms with a cool washcloth, but be careful, that can hurt. Do not wash it with soap because that will burn the skin.

Before you put a diaper back on the baby,look for some cornstarch in a cabinet, or even baking soda. Apply either one and it will help them to calm down even more.

Do not use baby powder, use cornstarch it works just as well and does not have perfumes or toxic's of any kind

If you are the parent, once your baby is calm, when they have a red bottom, give them a short bath. Put baking soda in the water about 1/4 of a cup let them play or just relax for a few minutes. There you are that should do the trick for calming a distressed child. If they are crying, due to being hungry, having a messy diaper, or even being hungry. These tips should help you.

If the child is still upset, figure out if someone has come into the room that the child does not like. If they stay upset and only calm down when the person leaves the room, then you should not let this person near your child again. Unfortunately it is people like this who upset your child as they may try to do things that are not right to your child. Remember your child is your responsibility to keep them safe from people who would harm them.

Federal guidelines tell us that those who prey on young children most of the time are family members, or close friends, who have access to children when their parents are not around.

I pray for all parents and children because it's not always an easy job. In fact sometimes it's hard and you don't always get the right help or praise when doing the right thing.

Amen to you all.

PS

Johnson and Johnson are being sued because of the long term effects of the use of their baby powder on adults. It is always safer to use cornstarch or baking soda. That also saves money, but it's better and safer for all concerned.

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Yelling and Cursing Your 4 Year Old Accomplishes ?

6-1-2016 What does that accomplish besides making them cry and becoming fearful of you.It makes your four year old wonder what you are talking about, because you have been cursing at them for four years already and they still don’t know what the words mean.

All they really hear are loud nasty sounding words come out of your mouth and see the scowl on your face.

It makes a little person think they are being yelled at all the time.

Do you realize that the baby at age one don't’t know what you were talking about.

So every time you cursed them they became confused.

When a child is always confused they cannot form good communication habits with anyone.

Sometimes that will make them cry because you are yelling at them for no reason.

They then become fearful of you.

Little children don’t understand words, they begin to understand tones in your voice as they go through their tender first year.

Babies are new to the whole world.

When you call them swear words, like “stupid moron” they think you are nuts because they do not have any understanding of what you say to them.

Little children have no understanding of the words you use against them.

But if you keep calling them “stupid Moron” they will eventually believe you and hate you at the same time because you continue to be loud and boisterous and you show them no real love or tender feelings.

Any child in this situation will lose their self worth, and feel as if they are unloved.

They will begin acting as if they are unloved by knocking things over, kicking, yelling, spilling things, and possibly not become potty trained for a very long time.

But, you will also lose your self worth as well because you are being a bully to a small child.

When you continue to shout angry words at them you are still confusing them. They will always be unhappy because you are always yelling at them in a loud voice and they don’t know why you are behaving in this manner. You are confusing them everyday.

By the age of five, they will probably start talking to you as if you are the moron.

Then you will be called some of those nasty names you yelled at them. It will not be cute.

By the age of six they will be in trouble in daycare or school.

You are the adult here in this situation

If you are a young mother or father, it is your responsibility to not bully any child because you are an adult, and you should know better behavior than to take out your anger on a baby. As we all grow from teenager to adult , 13-21 some of us are living in bad situations and it is hard to figure a way out . We know that, but that doesn't’t make it any easier to deal with on a day to day basis. There are some children who leave home rather than put up with being bullied. There are solutions to your problems. It is truly hard to ask for help sometimes, but, ask we must or else life won’t change for the better.Go take parenting classes at the YWCA. You will be surprised at what they have to offer.

Usually your parents help you along the way, but sometimes they don’t because they are having problems dealing with life just as you are.

Get Help Today

According to the latest information from (www.childhelp.org/child-abuse-statistics/)

More than 70% of the children who died as a result of child abuse or neglect were two years of age or younger. More than 80% were not yet old enough for kindergarten.

Around 80% of child maltreatment fatalities involve at least one parent as perpetrator.

Get Help Now! Call Our 24/7 Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-Child

You are who you say you are when you back those words up with actionable acts of kindness and activities

Your personal integrity, caring and actions towards others say out loud who you really are! Think about who you have helped recently with any project or personal problem. Were your suggestions valuable? Did the person say thank you, or say that was just what I needed to hear?

Interactions

Our interactions with others tells me what kind of a person you are. When you ask someone a question that might help you solve a problem, do you wait for them to answer you? Do you trample on their words before they can even finish their answer? If you trample on their words you are not being respectful to them or their knowledge. Thus, you will lose any information they have shared as not valuable because you did not hear them with your heart or your mind. Rather you ignored their input before they could even get their words out of their mouth. That is not a winning attitude. That behavior is degrading to the person you asked. And you don't get the right answer to your question because you have ignored the answer.

It is the same thing when dealing with your children or other children. You must be clear when you ask a question then wait for an answer. If you continue to rush the process and say "oh, you don't know the answer to that anyhow I don't know why I am asking you in the first place". Those words to a child are confusing, and degrading as well.

Stop and think

Stop and think about what you are saying or asking anyone. "Do you mean to say your answer is "no you don't want to do it, or you can't get it done, or you don't know how to do this"?

Sit Back, Take a Deep Breath and Listen!

You will have a much better response to the event and or the person you are having a conversation with. Do not try to over talk them or just be louder than they are. Why, because that tells them you are not interested in what they have to say and you do not value them or what they have to say at all. That type of attitude is a real zero in personal communications.

Communications is a two way street.

To get answers you need to be quiet to hear the answers. Just like Donald Trump says one thing one day then changes his mind within the next few moments because he is not prepared in the first place. He is always the one doing the talking so he only hears himself. He does not hear the other person rather he tries to shout them down or make them look stupid, or insults them.

Remember when he tried to make Mexicans look stupid wanting to send them all back home? Then just last week he appears on tv eating a big Taco meal and says he loves Mexicans. What a schmuck his communication skills are at zero at the moment. That was one of the most insincere moments on TV I have ever seen. It was not funny to Mexican immigrants. His communications skills are lacking sincerity no matter how many DEALS he has done. That could also be a valuable lesson why he has filed bankruptcy so many times because of his poor communication skills.Is this the man we want for our President of our entire country?This is the real man, these are his patterns of behavior. He will not change has spots just to placate us because this is who he is! The way you normally act is who you really are! Do you want to change your behavior or how others see you? email us now to find out about coaching for you to improve on how you want to be perceived. Monthly and programs created customized for you. Call 443-942-0096 ask for Diane

Dangerous Furniture for Children, Fixit Please

(Children's Furniture Falling and killing them "IKEA Problems")

According to the United States Consumer Product Safety Commission there are more than 43,000 injuries due to furniture tip-over incidents each year, and about 25,000 of these are injuries to children. More than 80 percent of the 430 deaths reported to the Consumer Product Safety Commission from 2000 to 2013 involved children under 10, said the agency.

In an independent report by the Philadelphia Inquirer, When empty dresser drawers were opened all the way, and the final drawer was fully extended, the unit instantly tipped over. When 50 pounds was hung on one of the drawers (about the weight of a child), both dressers tipped over with a violent crash.

Last year in 2015 the Consumer Product Safety Commissions warned consumers in an announcement not to use any unsecured “Ikea” children’s chests and dressers taller than 23.5 inches, and adult chests and dressers taller than 29.5 inches. The repair kits provided by the Swedish retailer would allow consumers to anchor the furniture to a wall.

Elliot F. Kaye, the commission’s chairman, said he was also challenging manufacturers to make safer products. He said:On average, every two weeks a child dies from unsecured televisions and furniture, according to data from the commission. Two-thirds of the 38,000 Americans who visit emergency rooms each year for injuries related to the tipping over of a piece of furniture are younger than 5 years old.

More than 80 percent of the 430 deaths reported to the commission from 2000 to 2013 involved children under 10, the agency has said. There were two chests in Ikeas “Malm line” that are prone to tipping over.

Ikea provides a method in a kit to secure them to your walls. However if you want to secure them yourself you can get L brackets in any hardware store and a few nails or screws to attach them to your wall and dresser. All in all it's a pretty quick fix. You might also want to do this for your large screen tv as well so they won't tip over onto your family. That way you don't have to wait for a company to ship the pieces to you. Information shared from http://www.momsez.com

Breaking news,Mothers Day, "What did you just say to me ?

"What did you just say to your mother?" That is a question that dads often ask of two year olds. One of my grandchildren decided he didn't want to pick up his toys when asked to do so. He then firmly planted his feet a foot apart, crossed his arms and said "no I don't want to." Somewhat shocked his mother asked him," What do you want for lunch, hot dogs or macaroni and cheese? " He replied" Macaroni and cheese." "Well, when you pick up your toys you can help me make the macaroni and cheese. How's that," she asked?

"Ok I guess", he said as he began to pick up his toys. His behavior of folding his arms and taking a physical stance is what he resorts to when getting hungry and doesn't want to stop playing. Mom, a step ahead of him, knows what makes him tick so she offers food as a reward sometimes, but not always. And not always the same food either.

Saying no to Mom is a way he is testing her to see where her boundaries are. When she responds by asking him another question most of the time he does what she wants.

Why does he take this physical stance, because that is what dad does when he is angry with him. He folds his arms across his chest and says "no!That is not what we are going to do!" The child is trying to dominate his mother even before anyone notices it.

Another child often thought of as being difficult to deal with, always whines to her mother. Why does she do this, because she hasn't always had questions asked that she could answer. She needs to hear phrases like "you have a choice to make for lunch, you can have peanut butter and a banana, or a ham sandwich with lettuce on it and a banana. Which one do you like better?" That being said she has a choice that includes a fruit with either one which is a good thing. This encourages young children to eat more fruit. That in turn helps them to eat a balanced meal with food that is nutritious for them.This choice helps her digestion as well. Healthy practices encourage better behavior. She doesn't need to hear that her "choice don't matter because she will only eat what she wants anyhow." When replying in that manner it puts dents in her self esteem each and every time she hears it. That personal dig at her on a regular basis will eventually make her have very low self esteem.

When teenagers get into their prime around thirteen years old they begin to test Mom a lot. Some will resort to bad language that they hear from other teens, or even their other usually older siblings. Unless Mom or Dad stand up for one another, trouble can begin rapidly. You will know when it is coming when you hear your son or daughter talk about their friends. You will hear that Tom or Dawn are filthy pigs, or they are sleeping around, or saying bad things about teachers. These are the things to pay attention to because their attitudes are forming. How they talk about other people is important. It's important because, their phrases are how they will talk about you to their friends.

One young relative used to act out in front of their friends in front of her Mom. Then when the pitch got too high, Mom would say to the daughter, "I think it's time for your friends to leave." She used to hate that, but, it worked because her friends respected her Mom, but not necessarily her and she learned that early on in life.

"New Babies"

4-20-2016 The births of new babies is what makes the world go round' and round'. From first looks in hospitals and first time holding them this is what gives us awe as parents. You are always a magical creature as a child because you are what makes us smile, cry, and smile again. As you learn to nurse, eat and begin to sit up, then crawl parents take great delight in each stage of your growth and accomplishments.

Remember, you came into this world because two people love each other. Then you are born into and make yourself a part of this loving family. You are important to us and we grow with you as you crawl into your first year of life.

There will be times when you may be outside in the sun and the weather is a humid 90%, you start to cry and sweat almost to an alarming point. Your grandmother, a wise one will come along take you from Dads arms and get you to some water. Your grandmother may wipe off your face with the wet, clean wash cloth. You will be immediately calm.

Maybe your mother or father will realize that it is too hot outside at the moment and take you inside. or somewhere under shade so you will not overheat yourself again. High heat will make any baby cranky and could lead to a seizure if left crying too long in the sun.

It could be that you need a nap away from all the people in the area so you can sleep. Babies always need lots of sleep.It is the one thing they do best besides eating, nursing. and having a diaper change.

You see it is our responsibility to take care of all your needs. That is what parenthood is about, taking care of babies so you stay safe, eat well, sleep well, and grow well. It is our duty to protect you. More than anything else parents are responsible for being the parent and making decisions to keep you well, and safe. Why, so you may grow into a fully functioning adult.

We don't ask you what you want for dinner when you are two years old because you don't know what real choices you have. A parent will likely say" here is dinner you can pick from carrots, or peas, or mashed potatoes and beef in a jar. Here lets try each one of them so you can see what you like. Yum, oh that looks like you enjoy that taste."

As you grow up your choices can change. But, parents make the first decisions about what good nutrition you get. They also choose your bedtime and put you down at night at a reasonable time so you get enough sleep as you grow.

Slightly before you reach the age of one years old, you will begin to say words and talk back to us when we ask you a question. Then the fun begins because you will walk soon and can be into lots of things in the house. There are some things you shouldn't get into, so that you don't get hurt. A responsible parent will tell you no a lot. They will give you toys to distract you from playing with something that can hurt you.

Parenting Skills

Good parents will not scream at you because you are too young to know what they are even talking about. Swearing at any child is useless because children don't understand what is wrong or is upsetting you. Why, because young children don't know what swear words mean.

Practicing patience for parents is one of the harder skills of parenting that takes lots of time for them to learn. Patience alone can be one of the toughest skills to learn. It is a must to learn to become a good parent. No one wants to be around a parent who is always screaming at a child who is too young to know any better.

It is not the child's fault that the parent doesn't have good parenting skills. This can make a nervous child, or make them cry all the time, or demanding of their parents time and attention. And no one wants to be around a child who misbehaves all the time, or is at their parents sides rather than playing. At this point parents need parenting classes immediately.

If you are a parent in this situation please call the YWCA to ask what classes they have that might help you. The quicker you get help, the quicker you can have a better loving relationship with your child, and them you.

kittens picture

Kittens make everyone happy, even grandchildren<

"When we die"

4-8-2016 We cannot get our families members back once they die, or are killed. That just can't possibly happen in anyone's lifetime. That is why it is important to love one another every way and everyday. Oh yes we will make mistakes, because we are human. But, the biggest thing is to not make major mistakes against one another or against the family if you can help it.

Indeed there are no excuses you can make up when something has happened and you could not have stopped it, especially when you were little. Why, because when you are little you don't do really bad things. Because you don't understand the word bad. Not only that, but because you are so little you are not the size of a grown up to be physically keep another grown up from doing bad things. 

Each one of us on this earth has choices we make as to what we believe is right or not. It is up to us as individuals to do the right thing. However, that does not mean it is okay to kill another person. If that person has harmed you, abused you by calling you nasty names or has hit you and really hurt you that is different. If that has happened you should tell someone who is bigger than you what really happened because many times someone who is an adult can help you.

We need to remember that not all grownups always do the right things. Yes I know that is confusing. But, it is true. Sometimes they are sick in the head and are not capable of knowing right from wrong. There isn't an excuse for that, except some adults are sick, sometimes they can be helped and sometimes not, but it's true.

However that does not mean it is right to hurt you as a young child either. That is when they must get some help before they cause you or themselves great harm.

When you become an adult you are able to understand better what had been going on in your childhood. Sometimes that means you go and get some professional help to understand the past. Do not be afraid to go and ask for help, it sometimes makes a whole world of difference in how you can begin to process old hurts and begin to feel better yourself.

If you truly need some help call 911 that gets the police to where you are, and gets you help if you live in the US.

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